i thought i had
a tattoo of our
love somewhere
deep inside me
but maybe our
passion was
ink from a pen
a heart shaped
drawing on the
surface of my
pale skin that
a river of tears
washed away
after all those days
I begged and begged
for you to stay
and you didn’t

I wonder what I'll see right before I die
Not the moments flashing bright
nor the memories passing by

I mean the last thing
the image that I'll see
the feelings it'll bring

Will it be a neat summary of things I've seen
or perhaps a dying shout
at what things could have been

Or maybe it will be nothing at all
just a slab of concrete
after one long fall

The black cat
cried out loud
to the moon from
a place where she
couldn't be seen.
But from the sound
of the lonesome melody
i knew that autumn was here.
I never imagined that
death could be beautiful
untill i saw the falling leaves.
Red,golden,brown.
And I started to fall while
the crickets were singing
on the gentle breeze.
Months have passed.
I can't remember the
last time when i got lost
in my own thoughts,
staring at the old wooden
clock as the hands stroke midnight.
I feel like a bird locked
in an iron cage, desperate
for the freedom the sky offered,
although there was the
blue vast underneath.
Those who harbor their dreams
to be alone must have forgotten
how it's like to be lonely.
The air outside was poisonous
and not many gems
were sprinkled.
But the night sky does not
possess all the stars.
Some of them simply
belong to the sea.

I wonder what your eyes see
That mine don’t
What your mind thinks
That mine won’t

I wonder what your heart feels
That mine can’t
Who your love touches
That mine shan’t

I wonder what your dreams conceive
That mine wouldn’t                                                         ­ 
And what you will achieve
That I couldn’t                                                        
­
I wonder where your destiny lies
That mine isn't                                                            ­      
What your legacy will symbolize
That mine didn't
BOEMS BY JA 488

To my gran who I have just seen
Who is old
and can't remember things
Who is kind
and asks me the same questions
Who lies in bed
and drinks tea
Who has bought up
four children
And has seven
grand children
And seven
great grandchildren
It was so lovely
to see you.

We had a good chat;
You asked me
where I was going next
about a hundred times
And I loved answering
every time.
Australia.
We drank tea
And looked at photos.
I bought you a soft toy
And you liked him
"A sweet little fellow"
You said
"It's a shame He doesn't squeak"
You said
Squeezing him.
And you put him on your lap
While I showed you photos
Of your great grandson
And we laughed
About things.

When I left
we caught eyes
I said "bless you"
And bowed to you.
You said "take care of yourself"
And I saw you
And you saw me
And that is where we met.
In the eyes
And in the soul.
That is what I came for
What I hoped for
That moment
When we met.
I took your hand
And said
"it's been lovely to see you"
And then I left
Wanting To say more
Wanting to say thank you for everything
Thank you for knitting me the duck
When I was a boy
Thank you for being a pillar
In my life
That even though
I havn't seen you much
You've been so important
To me.
Just knowing you were there
Family.
Has helped me
To be strong.
I wanted to stay
and say goodbye
Just in case...
But I didn't
I got you a blanket
Because you looked cold
And I left
Because Stuart was waiting
In the car park
And I had a train to catch.
And I was worried it might disorientated you
Because we had had a lovely time together.
And I wanted to leave you happy.

I looked back
Through the ward window
D8
And you looked
so alone

And now I'm on the train
To Liverpool street
And I miss you
I think of you
Lying there
And I want to sit by you
And show you more pictures
And get you tea
And make sure your warm
And look after you
Because your so frail
And vulnerable
And I feel sad
Because
Well...grief!
The tragedy of life,
That we must part
From everyone.
But I'm happy too
Because
My bones
feel full
And my heart
feels Warm
And I feel my right
To stand up on this earth.
With a warm heart
And wet cheeks

I don’t want to go back to the city,
I’m learning to forget you
And the city we grew together
To be something that we are not anymore.

I don’t want to see our city
Eat alone or wander the crowd
I don’t belong there, neither you
We were strangers like we’re today.

I will never ever go back to the city
Where there are sediments of us
Wanting to be jolted to a story
To pinch our flesh every **** day.

I want to be the city, someday
I want to be a hopeless lover and
Monsoon scent, I want to be the city
You'll never forget, the city we lived.

Blame me
with
your cold hard stare
  
You point
your
finger at me
  
And I
am
back in your lair