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Invocation Apr 2014
oh.
take everything
from the inside
and throw it all
away
- linkin park

i want a cigarette
i can't decide how much i want to be
happy
i want this
i want this
i will breathe
because i want to
and because this depression is
just a moment of pain

in new zealand
water runs inside of
someone
stalking sheep
and feeling the closest thing to
sane
  Apr 2014 Invocation
sabrina
I KEEP SAYING
I JUST NEED TIME
JUST NEED TIME
NEED TIME
TIME TIME TIME
BUT IT SCARES ME TO WONDER
HOW MANY
DAYS
WEEKS
MONTHS
YEARS
WILL IT TAKE TO
FEEL
WHOLE
AGAIN
Invocation Apr 2014
The decline begins with me aching
It started in my back
How has it reached my heart so quickly?
I see nothing useful in these scarred hands
Jeez
Invocation Apr 2014
I could leave it all behind
pack my bags and overnight
redeye
goodbye

wind up in your arms
try to start a new
life
love a little
become greater

everything is uncertain
i could stay and grow stability
or leave and gain you
i should stay
i'm only just starting my new job
you care about my future

but what if I ignore you and
come to you
and never leave your side?
I miss you
Invocation Apr 2014
I think about the face of a woman
and her smooth skin
soft lips
the curvature of the Earth is kin to her hips
I feel humanity suffering needlessly
beneath her cells
as I wander her valleys and sand-dune hills
she is the beach
the ocean
the calling of many gulls screaming for food and
I love her white *******
But she is sneaky
and cares for me
caressing is painful
I see it in my own eyes the next day
when the smudgy bruises flit across my reflection

But men understand
without either of us speaking a **** word
we drive
we shout
we catcall
we game
the music takes us and we run for days
doing nothing
anything
and i guess sometimes we ****
Succinct and supernatural
Brawn or brown skin or bright ideas gone awry
always a good day with the gang or the bros
I feel safer in the hoods

I want her to notice me, and to shyly skip over like she did last week
i want to kiss her neck and pull back
soon enough to catch her half-lidded gaze into the abyss behind me
I want to wear boxers and treat her to fancy dinners

But
I want to be her
I want taste a mustache
I want to be lifted overhead like a little sister
and brought back to the earth with sweet
exploration


Impossibility
I want women and men to be the same thing
Tonight is not my night
Invocation Apr 2014
You're gone
I banished you when I found your stash
I hated you before that
long
before that
All the year
I gave you my affection
money
cooking
I evolved into housewife
for you
and you were ever
cold

THE ITCH
burns
when I know
if the feeling was returned
we could be wed

instead
THE ITCH
of wanting
when I gave in and discarded you
like empty wrappers

you called me
for ***
and drugs
and then left again



the moral of the story
i answered every time
yeah ******* too
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