And when I tell you I cheated on you,
I’ll say, it feels better than feeling nothing.

Right person at the wrong time?
But maybe there isn't a wrong time
If it's the right person

this isn’t going to make sense
cause it’s not supposed to
and if I’m being honest
this isn’t for you
it’s not even for me

I’m stuck
I’m trapped
I’m lost
I’m every other word that describes people who feel at a dead end

I’m typing on a ****** phone
That’s connected to a ****** connection
That could possibly be a metaphor for my life

I’m writing
Because I don’t know what else to do

I’m writing
Cause that’s what they told me to do

But they also told me that what I think isn’t always true
That I’m special and I just don’t see it

But that’s the thing
I don’t see it

And if I don’t see it then why should it matter if anyone else does

And if I’m thinking something why should it matter if it’s true

What matters is that it’s in my head
What matters is that it’s always there

But here I am
Stuck in the same place
Back to square one
No progress made
The same questions, whether true or not

Will I amount to anything?
Do I really help?
Am I really worthwhile?
Do you actually care?

I see these people
When I’m online
They smile and post
They edit and pose

I can’t help but wonder

Do you really smile, or do you just do it to look happy like me?
Do you really feel happy, or are you trying to lie like me?
Do you understand what I feel?

Or is it just me?

I’m not trying to be selfish
I don’t want a lot
I just want to be happy
And I want others to be happy with me
But neither is happening

So instead there’s a poem
That doesn’t even ryhme
That makes no sense
  I’ll try harder

Your silence
Sits
On my chest
Like
An anvil.

He's hiding in the details,
Just to offer me a deal.
Everything I ever wanted,
as he awaits my soul to steal.

I see him watching me there,
in the corner of my eyes.
He's slick and cruel and twisted,
a veritable master of disguise.

I won't play his advocate,
I don't want to be his own,
I just want that pesky, awful beast,
to leave me the hell alone.

He won't get my idle hands,
I won't join him to dine.
It's not gonna work, that SOB,
Not on me this time!

i am by no means a morning person
but it was 6 a.m.
the sun wasnt even up yet
and you came rushing into my head
i couldnt help but smile uncontrollably
and im not one to rush things
but now i think the mornings might not be so bad

I know
You care about me
10 more people do
Yet I can't get rid
Of this feeling
Of doom

I know
I have you
10 more people too
Yet I can't find a person
To talk to
late at night