love,

months swiftly passed
since that enchanted night
i never wished to end,
as it was then that i first
laid my hands,
and my eyes,
unto yours.

i have been wildly spinned
throughout the dance,
and eventually,
throughout your world.

it was those dazzling eyes
that hooked me most
without an utterance of a word.
it was those precious gems
that connected us,
that made me fall in love
with you more.

but only then did it hit me,
i didn't want to fall in love.
what i wanted was to grow in love.
and you don't make me grow.

i know and i accept
that letting you go
and setting you free means
letting you love someone else.
but love,
it is that i am in doubt.

i did not dream of a love
full of doubt, full of lies,
and overflowing with fear.
i did not dream of a love
full of questions
and full of secrecies.
or maybe,
i just did not dream of a love
with you.

i could not stand to feel that
you are mindful of my pretense
but you smile and refuse
to believe i am lying to you.
i could not stand to feel
the sadness i give you
that you hide
and that i am inept to solace.

i am afraid that one day
i might wake up to see you
happy for being with me
but you don't see the same.

love,
my feelings did not
gradually fade.
it vanished in a snap
and i am afraid
it might be back, too,
at once.

i doubt you accept me again
when my love returns,
or when my love is sure,
and i doubt i might
let you go again.
but by that time,
if you've found the rightful one,
let me apologize for being unable
to control my feelings back then -
my feelings today.

honey,
there is nothing wrong with you,
nor is there with me,
but there is with us.

love,
you need not to hurt anymore,
so for the last time,
i love you and good bye.

i loved you.
good bye.

I could never fathom
Why she chose to love you
In subtle shadows
Where she was but invisible

I could never fathom
Why she let herself
Drown in bed, thinking of you
But not tell you so

I could never fathom
Why she kept her words
Forever dreaming
She has said all to you

I could never fathom
Why she draws a line
When in truth, she, o she
Wants to cross and be with you

But mostly,

I could never fathom
Why you said you'll wait for her
But threw her heart
And gave yours to someone else

I could never fathom
Why you made her feel
Everything was real but
Forget it all after she left

I could never fathom
Why now she is a secret lover
Who can freely live and love another
But won't bother to do so anyway

I could never fathom
Why she chose to love you.
I could never fathom
Why I chose to love you

but darling,
i must not say that
you deserve someone better
for if you truly were enamored of me,
i would have been the best.

but darling,
if all these years i was not,
then i must conclude
we only were confused.
and so we both were fooled,
i must confess.

but darling,
if all these years i was not,

i defy you
to not take a day to move on,
i defy you
to not long for my existence,
i defy you
to not reminisce our moments,
i defy you
to not try to break the walls
i will once again build.

but darling,
i must not say that
you deserve someone better
for what i had in me
that i gave you is different,
is irreplaceable,
is a thing i never thought i had.

and so is what your lover will give you.

but darling,
before i bid goodbye,
forgive me for giving up,
forgive me for breaking us apart,
forgive me for taking back my heart,
and forgive me for not forgiving you.

but darling,
i must not say that
you deserve someone better.

you deserve someone,
not better,
but is not me.

so i am sleeping,**
in hopes of
not having the same feeling
tomorrow

after all,
we all were just humans,
forever fascinated
with the idea
of having
something
new.

The little lass basks in the sun,
Her face caressed by the grass,

But she flails about, thrashes about,
When the day’s one torrential downpour,

The little lass, bare-footed, stands,
Oh, is she a lass? *No more.

with a grip on her drink, she quaffed
heavily, so heavy she fairly puffed