I'm falling down into my shadow
It seems I had no light after all.
So comes the night, enveloping my soul in a cool star kissed breeze
So comes the distant lights, shining comfortably and constant
When all have abandoned...

Looking without seeing
Hearing without listening
Eating without tasting
Bleeding without feeling
Pacing but not walking
Hoping but not praying
Crazed without lunacy
Taking without wanting
Breathing but not living

Surrounded without belonging
Alone without loneliness
Saying without believing
Speaking without thinking
Desperation is overcoming
As I try to find a way
To not breath without living

Why not be blamed
For something I did not do?
A crime is not a crime
Unless it has been committed
But this my friends,
It was an accident,
And I am afraid I did not do it

Why not be blamed
For a victimless crime
When it happened right before my eyes
We take the time and time again
And it starts to get real
The happenings begin

Why not be a motherless child
In a world that makes that okay
I am a victim of a crime
A crime that can't be faked

Why not leave
Mother dearest
When I need you most
To work my way through this
I'm starting to hear voices in my head
Help me, mother,
I just want this to end
I am not crazy
The voices haven't pushed me over the edge
Find me, mother
Even though I know you're dead

Do you remember
When we aimed to happy and pleased
Remember the days when being normal was being happy?
Now that I am in this horrid years
Between the age of 12 and 20
I am stuck with feeling unhappy
Amidst so many others
With less than maintained roads ahead
Remember the days when we didn't wish for death?
Remember when life was easier
Instead of shrouded with hate
Just looking at another person
And waiting for the feeling to fade
Remember the days when we didn't care?
When we didn't care about our clothes
And what made us look fat
Our faces or who we make laugh?
Remember the days when I was loved
And not just seen as a miserable *****?
Remember the days when I had you
To soothe my burning hateful itch
Remember when we didn't have to fear adults?
When we didn't question their intentions
Remember when we were just obnoxious adolescents?
When life was just making your parents annoyed
And butting heads
Remember when life
Was actually fun to live?

If this is my dark night of the soul
I would like you all to know
That I never wanted to be like this
Living in this monstrous world
I am trapped in a place that I cannot see
For vast distances and in between
I am blinded by unforgiving fear
Of what will happen when you come near
Writing is my blade
And I wield it to scar
If you caused this dark night of the soul
I'll never know who you are
Because there is no one who causes this pain
Just me alone, with my nameless name

Eyes don't lie
They tell the truth
The eyes
Betray the lie
That comes from the betrayers
Truth

But some people
Will never know
The difference between truth
And lie
Some people will only know
What hides behind your cold glass filled eyes