I don't know why I reopen old wounds.

I guess it's because I just want to
Feel Again.

Everyone hates me.

They think I'm the bad guy.
I'm the hater.
The negative vibe.
The one who kills.
The Devil.

They don't think I have feelings.
They think I don't care,
That I like being here.
That it doesn't **** me
To have Satan as father.

Do you think I'm proud
That he was banished from heaven?
That I like
Watching people suffer?

Death is not my specialty-
It never was.
I pray secretly
For a better life.

Helping, apparently,
Is a sin.
The smell of demise
Leaves me melancholy.

My tears
Are tattooed on my face.

These harsh words
Have been engraved onto my skin.
I have never been happy
With a sinner for a dad.

How can I pray to God,
When he is the spoken enemy?

How can I hope
When it has been crushed by all his followers?

I don't have friends-
They're all scared of me.

I have only lived to see
Fear.
No one has ever loved these red eyes.

Red from crying.
Red from hurting.
Red from a broken heart.

I can only write my ache.
But no matter how I try,
No one can relate.
Or care.

The worst kind of pain
Is the one that cannot be described.

That's me,
The indescribable agony.

Blue tulips, yellow flowers,
Pink clouds, purple sky.

Green leaves, brown ants,
Caramel skin, yellow sand.

Red apples, peach lines,
Orange sunset, Teal ties.

The world is a beautiful sight,
But my life in jail is just black and white.

I am made of different things,
That is why everyone believes,
I have no soul,
No feelings.

that it doesn't hurt,
When I know I'm the one,
That keeps lovers apart,
Keeps the right from the wrong.

They think it doesn't hurt,
When people punch me in frustration.
They don't make a dent,
But they do to my heart.

I might be what keeps people safe,
But the glares shot at me,
Are filled with hatred and anger,
But all I do is be me,
It's my job.

People overlook me. 
But when they do,
It's as a problem.
They think I'm not real,
That I don't feel.

I would cry if I could,
Get rid of myself,
So people would be happy,
And not hate me.

I lock people,
Block the outside from the in.
Hurt people,
Without me knowing.

I am something,
People wish a away.
I wish I could disappear,
Making smiles reappear. 

Everyone hates me,
Detest my infinite width,
Loathe my secure body,
But I can't help it.

I'm just  a wall.

Wait a minute, I think I've figured it out.
You hate me, while I love you.

Guess the feeling isn't mutual.

My eyes shut,
As the ringing is heard,
Of the bell,
In his hands.

The silence is broken,
As he chants,
The first few words,
To our prayers.

We repeat,
In sync,
Every word,
Is beautiful.

The light,
Still bright,
Sitting in it's lamp,
Sitting on the table.

Flowers,
Neatly cut,
Yet wild,
Pleasing needs.

The scent of sticks,
Drift across the room,
Putting smiles on our faces,
As he preaches.

Everything placed,
Has a deep meaning.
Referring to death,
With reality.

When we have gifted the people,
And the room with our blessings,
We open our eyes to the works,
So he can teach us something.

He talks and explains,
The points of life.
What it is like to be,
One of his kind.

Stories spill out of him,
Yet still keeping time.
That's what a trained priest does,
Know what he says and why.

When he is finished,
We seal the lament,
With a silence,
One can only desire.

We pray and wish,
In our hopeless minds,
For our lives to become better,
For it to extend,
And for the love of our children.

And when all,
Is wished and said,
We leave the place,
And this wonderful, peaceful,
Religion.

Who would be
My perfect man...?
he would need to know who he is,
Whre he stands.

Not too romantic,
I mean, come on, this isn't the titanic.
Would be nice if he's sweet,
And SERIOUSLY neat.

Should love books,
And have good looks.
Has a funny bone
Not some dude who drones.

Has to be like a best friend,
Always there with a hand to lend.
Music should be part of his soul,
And I should be part of his goal.

We cannot be a mistake,
That is something I can never take.
Meant to be, of course,
I want him till....only God knows.

No complaints,
From neither he nor me.
I don't want a saint,
But a man who can lead.

Challenging and adventurous,
Not someone who is ego.....ous.

Not forever gone but not too clingy,
Not forever drawn, not melancholy.

Obligatory to hate me sometimes,
He has to have his own side.
Too many arguments, we're done.
So he's gotta be bold, loving and fun.

Hugs well,
Kisses swell.
Dances badly,
Would he sing? Gladly.

Not afraid to come clean,
Not afraid to let off steam.
Loves the things I do,
But not lie if I make horrible food.

I want a man
Who is not afraid to love me.
Not afraid to laugh.
But never hurt me.

One more thing:
He's gotta think my poetry is **** good.
Or else I'd stab him, stab him I would.

Patient: B. Hypocrite

Feelings: Angry, frustrated, sad, confused, despaired, suicidal

In need of therapy (Yes/No)**: What's the point? I'm already a hopeless suicidal *freak.

Dear Lover,

I still wake up at glorious hours to meet what we once had through nature. Remember the sunsets we watched together? I still gaze at them with the same intensity I had when I looked at you. I wake up early in the brisk cold morning seeing darkness but finally watching the light brighten through my blue curtains making a sea of colour wash over my room. The shade you love.

How are you? It's been a while. I'm a little lonely since most of my friends have moved away. On the bright side, I’m moving on better. I've met a couple of guys and the crying has stopped a whole lot. I get out more than I used to. I visit the places we went together from time to time. You know how I used to write in that red book that you gave me on our first anniversary? I still have it and take it with me everywhere. I use it so much that the edges are getting softer and you can see a couple of coffee stains (sorry). I go out to the park daily and write whatever comes to mind in there.

Sadly, all I write is about you.

The first time you saw me, I was waiting for my mother to pick me up. I remember so well seeing your body rise from the sunroof with your friends. Do you remember when your eyes locked with mine? That look you gave me that I had witnessed a million times? I remember, and I miss that a lot. When you took me on car rides just to watch the sun rise and set? I miss that. You waking me up each morning with a phenomenal kiss and arms for me to fall into? I miss that so much. How about all those times a grey cloud hung over me, but you were there to cheer me up? I need that now.

How can I help it? You were the one that looked at me as if I meant the world to you. I craved your presence because you made me happy. I needed your smile just to make my bad day better. You were there for me when no one else was. I apologize if I’m not your one. You might not need me but I need you. You don't deserve me, but you have changed me so much. I guess...I guess I’m not quite over you. I’m sorry for fighting, I’m sorry for being stupid. But know, I did it out of care. I....I am so sorry.

So, I ask you for one more chance for me to show you I love you. How is it that I only feel butterflies and nausea around you but you don't anymore when you're around me? This love simply can't be one sided. I saw the way you looked at me, and the way you acted, and everything. The sparks and fireworks were booming on my side. When I met you, I saw fire behind those beautiful eyes. I saw determination. I saw a strong connection, and felt it through my every vein. Have you moved on from that? Please say you haven't. I need this so bad, please understand that. I need you so bad. You mean the world to me, don't you get it?

If you loved me then, can't...can't you love me now?


Sincerely,

The Girl Who Still Loves You.

I look into the mirror,
And see my reflection.
It has changed so much,
Changed from when I was a child.

Tears sting my eyes,
Since I don't see the same face anymore.
I'm NOT the same person anymore.
My mind isn't tiny anymore.

I see traces of my family,
Inside my eyes,
Traces of me,
Inside my words.

But I cannot be the same person
Again.
I can't love the child,
That I once was.

I always wanted to grow up,
Now that dream came true.
I could never treasure the days being a child,
I am forever doomed.

My only wish is to be young again,
Free again.
But God has made His decision,
I can never be.

And now I'm looking at a mirror,
As a flashback washes over me,
I hate myself for what I did.
I hate that I never loved me.

I only have this mirror,
To remind me of my mistakes.
But at least I can go back,
And love the way I lived.

I am all holes.
I have been shot so many times,
That I feel numb.

So shoot me, once again.
It will hurt, but I've learnt to love the pain

What am I if not made of irony
Hypocrisy and words
So contradictory?
I mask it all with style;
Venom and blood
Or light and color-
All decorating our words
With different kinds of splendor.
But I hide the true meaning deep within.
Even if the truth is more shallow than you think.
I let you taste emotions never offered to you on your plate,
Because I hide my ingredients
In the meal that you ask for.
I give what you never knew you never wanted
In a way that only entices you.
But I am one of the best liars on paper.
I am one of the best actors.
I convey millions of emotions
When I only have a soulless soul inside.
Poets like me can describe feelings they've never felt before.
Never take my words as my life
Because halfway,
I stopped living in my words.

The Girl who reads.
That’s another name for me.
 
The one who is kept content
By reading fictional lives.
 
From Harry Potter to Cather in the Rye,
I read.
At the parking lot. At home.
Under a tree, or in the library.
You’d find me,
The one who reads.
 
Call me a bookworm,
Since I am.
Infinite words captured in my mind
Caught in the neurons,
Waiting to be known and learnt.
 
I read within reason:
To dream. To imagine. To hope.
 
I read for the emotion I won’t get in reality no matter how much I plead.
 
Reading builds up tension
And the urge to finish.
Not aware what’s on the other side of a page
Can **** someone within.
 
To be engrossed in a book,
Shutting the world outside,
Hearing nothing but words,
While patience is on the edge
Waiting to fly.
 
The despair that fills you
When you realized a character died.
The one you loved, the one that was fun-
The one you wished existed.
 
Or maybe the romance,
As you realize who your perfect one is,
Your “meant-to-be”,
Doesn’t exist either.
Never will.
 
You cry, you scream,
You sigh, you dream.
 
When a book is not found,
You are in a Trans, a pensive mood.
A profusion of questions bundled in  your head-
Who? What? Where? How? Why?
And all you can think about for the rest of day,
Is going back to bury your nose in a book,
To find the secrets it refuses to tell you.
To find the treasure between the lines.
 
Call me a book freak,
I won’t deny it.
I’d be complimented, actually.
I can’t help these numerous words
That keep spilling out.
 
But I know I’m not the only one.
Heck, I know I'm not crazy.
 
I'm not the only one that sees
The irony of life,
Innumerable paths,
The alternative
And countless paths.
 
Reading helps you learn this, not only academics, not matter what people say.
 
Reading, to some, is to live.
Reading, to some, is to learn.
Reading, to some, is Cloud 9 when things get really bad.
 
To me, it’s my everything.

I can't even remember the last time
I cried,
And someone held me close,
And told me it was going to be alright.

I climb into the tub filled with water
Hoping it would cleanse me of our memories
Our history,
Hoping it would get rid of moments I crave to forget.
I run the soap along my body,
Cleaning out your fingerprints,
Rinse,
Smiling because I think I'm finally free.
But we all know how baths work.
I sat there in my dirt,
Your dirt,
Our dirt,
I sat there in the midst of our memories
Stuck with you
Surrounding me
Once again.
Like you never left.

I'm laying,
On the bathroom floor,
Wondering where you went.

I missed you,
But you came back to hurt me,
And I started to wonder,
If I was worth it.

I'm laying here,
On the bathroom floor,
Pounding about your thoughts.
Do you think of her?

Did you forget us,
And move in,
By falling in love,
With the first blonde?

I'm laying here,
On the bathroom floor,
Hoping you still remember me,
Remember I exist.

I need to stay Hugh,
Prove to the world I'm strong,
Tell them I'm okay,
I'm perfectly fine on my own.

But if all that was true,
Why would I,
Be lying on the bathroom floor,
Crying over you?

Stars

He held my hand as my head dipped into the sea of stars.

My eyes were watching the galaxies,
While my heart was watching ours.

The milky way enlightening his heart,
While his smile enlightening mine.

His laugh brighter than the little gases above.

The grass beneath our bodies,
Pulling me closer to him.

His lips meeting my forehead,
While the stars met the moon.

They must have met each other before,
Every night.
Maybe they became friends,
And soon best friends.
Maybe after a few more nights of playing hide and seek,
They decided they wanted to be more-

Just like us.

His whispers in my ear,
Making me shiver.
And the stars start to turn
Deeper into the dark night.

And your scent
As your arms wrap around me,
Making me feel warm.
The stars making the earth
Feel dark
And at home.

And while we lay down
On the grass,
I hold your hand,
Hoping to never let go
Of our little infinity.

Our infinity...

Our infinity...

Our infinity...

Do you think you’re going to miss
The stars in the sky?
You’ll be a thousand miles
Away from the beautiful
Night.

Do you think your heart will grow sore
From missing the sunlight?
The way it paints the clouds
In an abundance of shades
Right up in the sky.

Do you think you’ll miss
Looking up and seeing your favorite color?
Miss seeing that wonderful tinge of blue
Also known as my hue
Of hope.

Do you think you’ll wish
To see the orange sunset again?
Watching the tones of fire ignite the sky
Until a deep ocean cools it down
And washes it out
Till it glitters with desires
Known as the stars-
Shining bright and illuminating your way
Home.

If I were you I’d miss the African Night.
I’d miss seeing destiny
Sprawled across the darkness like that.
I’d miss the sunlight
Warming up my heart
From sunrise like that.
I’d miss the splash of colors
Tinting the clouds
Giving me a taste of incredibility
From sunsets like that.
I’d miss the sky
How infinite it can be.
But you won’t have to worry
Because you were born a beauty-
A star.

Your home is the night
And wherever you are
You can see the glimmers of
Hope.
You are a shimmering ball of
Miracles.
Wherever you are
You are home.

I dance.
I point my toes till they hurt.
I stretch every muscle in my body,
Even the ones that I shouldn’t.

 
I move across the room,
To every dusty corner,
Using all the space I have,
In this tiny room.
 

I smile,
As I lift a leg,
Turn it into the right position,
Try and ignore the pain,
 

I place myself for a pirouette,
Turn out my feet,
Widen my arms,
And let go.

 
My leg stays under my knee,
My arms come closer,
As my weight leans backwards,
I fall.

 
I regain my stamina,
And try again.
Doing the same as last time,
I fall.

 
I change my position,
I bring my weight forward,
And when I thought I did it,
I fall.

 
I got back up in anger,
The smile vanished from my lips,
I turn again and again,
Wanting to be perfect.

 
My last twirl,
I kept going on,
Turning with no end,
Until I collided into a wall.
 

I fell, once again,
But did not get up,
The white light was burning my eyes,
And like that,

I was gone

Standing in the bathroom,
I lock the door.
No guns,
No one would hear me.

I bend down,
Reach inside the cupboard,
Searching for something.
I find it.

My fingers curl,
Around a container,
And I shake it a bit,
I hear it.

My breath is shaky,
When I take out the pills,
This is what I want,
This is how it is going to be.

Tears fall,
I think of the words,
As I ***** the lid,
Off.

The computer screen,
Flashes in my mind,
I picture the words,
In front of my very eyes.

'***** ,
My hand goes in,
Grabs a pill,
And I put it between my lips.

'*****',
I swallow,
Tasting the disgust,
But reach down,
For more.

'****',
I grasp another,
But find it hard,
To swallow,
With the lump in my throat.

'***',
The tears streaming,
Can't stop my hand,
That reaches down,
As a sob escapes.

Four pills,
I feel drowsy,
But I keep going,
I need to do this.

Five pills,
I sob at the harsh words,
That flash again and again,
In my brain.

Six pills,
I hear the front door slam,
They know,
But I'm almost done.

Seven pills,
I see white,
I can't smile,
But I can see my future.

Eight pills,
I fall to the ground,
The bottle slips from my hand,
As I slip from the world.

*

I open my eyes,
To see my mother looking down,
I didn't do it,
I failed.

Is it possible to be scared of three words?

She's dead,
The one who loved me and gave me care.
She held me in her arms when safety was rare.

She's gone.
All my hopes drained. She was my everything and kept me maintained.

She'll never come back.
She was my everything, put me in front of her.
She was all I had, forever.

She's no more.
My life has ended, has no meaning?
I'll have no peace, no reasoning.

I Love her.
My mother's dead, she always made my day. Now she's gone,
I have no more to say.

Drop
          Drop
                    Drop

That could either be the sound of rain,
Or the beat of my heart retreating from the dead.
Beating for you –
Like it used to.

Drop
         Drop
                  Drop

You hear that?
Tell me if that was the sound of the storm
Or my heart weeping once again,
For you.

You would have thought
I was over you.
But once a broken heart,
always a broken heart.

Sure you can mend it-
But can't you see the lining of the cracks engraved?
See how deep they've gone,
Enough to ruin it forever.

I may not cry much now,
But the silent, unshed tears
Are the ones that matter the most.
They carry my soul
Through each non-existent molecule.

You can't hear
The screams of terror
For thinking I still love you,
Through the undying storm.

When you love someone
You idealize a dream
With the two of you.
And when when you find out
What you wanted was one-sided,
Would you wish to still love them?

It's hard when what my mind wants
Does not synchronize
With my heart.

It's hard to breath
With all this air surrounding me,
Giving me space to think about you,
And I refuse to.

Why can't the rain
Dampen my feelings
To the extent of being paper,
And tearing easily apart?

Why can't the storm
Soften my  heart,
Leaving it numb
So my desires would be hidden,
And finally, weaken.

Leaving no space for you.

But, here's the thing:
The untamed storm
Perfectly reflects my devotion
Of what I once had-
And still have- for you.

I carried an eternal infatuation for you,
And I still do.

I drank from the beautiful crystal glass
Silently wishing it was your love
So I would keep it in me
Until it consumes me
And I would be surrounded by your love.

Sleep is scarce for me.

While my eyes may be closed,
My heart is beating rapidly,
In the fear of not falling,
Falling for you too.

Do I dare say a word?
No, my secret is kept in,
For they would not understand.
Or rather, they know, but refuse to accept it.

So while they're deep in their slumber,
Possibly in another world,
I'm lying here awake
Thinking about the tens of possibilities
That would never happen to me.

Like, you and I.

My body cannot tame
This unhealthy diet.
It does not deserve
To suffer like this.

Waking up in the morning,
Only to realize I did not succeed.
Going out,
Only to realize that my lack of slumber
Is affecting me more more than I know.

Why? Because of you.

These droopy eyes
Only wish for one night,
Where they could close
For quite a while
In real rest.

But, even when they do
My last thought is you.

Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
I think about you late in the night
And first thing in the morning.
You are the reason I’m so tired.

How can you help me
When you caused it in the first place?

I'm tired,
Tired of drifting off when I shouldn't,
Tired of half open eyes,
Tired of my restless sleep,
And tired of thinking about you.

Why'd you do this to me?
I cannot help loving you.

Is my Insomnia,
The aftermath,
Of falling for you?

It's funny, 
How a girl who has talents to stand out, is unnoticed. All the time. 

She sits down silently,
Counting the hours 'till it ends,
While everyone looks past her,
As if she was a ghost.

'Am I invisible?' She asks herself.

She counts,
Everyone acknowledging smile,
Hoping they finally see her,
But is yet to be disappointed, again.

People wave at her,
When she's alone.
But that's all the attention she gets,
That's all she has.

She silently cries,
She knows it's pathetic,
But she only wants to be known,
To be a somebody

Dreams of being famous,
Standing onstage.
But sadly realizing,
It's just a fake.

The one person she loves,
Is wrapped in his own world.
A world where she's the background,
A world where she doesn't exist.

So, it's fair,
These tears streaming down her face,
She wants to stand out,
Be different.

She tries so hard,
With her polite smiles,
Her funny tone,
But it's not good enough.

So, she writes it down,
To the world.
Where people don't see her face
But her words, for once.

She can show her true colors,
Through things she loves,
Which is poetry,
Posted to the universe.

She prays,
That there is someone reading,
Someone who sees through her words,
Gets the clue,
Helps her.

All she has to do, 
Is wait.
But that's what she has been doing,
For her past life.

These tears are for something more,
Something that matters to us all,
But we find it so easy,
That we forget that there are people,
Who can't.

So, I write it down,
To the world.
Where people can't see my face,
But my words, for once.

I write, because I want you to know,
This world will never be perfect.
*Never

I stand in the shower,
Addicted to the warm water,
Never wanting to leave,
Just like you.

I was so addicted,
To your smile,
I never wanted,
To let go.

I wait,
Feeling the droplets,
Of water,
Trail down my back,
Like your fingers.

You'd reassure me,
Grazing my body,
Telling me,
It'll be okay.

The soap,
Roams down my body,
Cleaning away the dirt,
But not our memories.

I want them to,
Because I miss you,
I need you,
Right now.

The tears,
Stream down my face,
But are disguised,
My the water.

The smell,
Of my shampoo,
Reminds me,
Of your cologne.

Why did I let you go?
I obviously miss you.
But you hurt me,
In a way I shouldn't forgive,
But I'm so ready,
To take it back.

I want you,
I need you,
I love you,
So much.

It hurts to know,
I let go,
Of the best thing,
That has ever happened,
To my life.


I still love you.

Every time I made a mistake,
I'd tear the paper,
Throw it away,
Take a new one,
And start again.

I'll rewrite my story,
Again,
And Again,
And Again-
Until there were no flaws,
And only happy endings.

I took off my glasses so I would see the world in all it's blurred glory. Where nothing is certain, everything is unclear and focus is lost.

Sometimes I wish I was blind so I wouldn't see how people change and deceive you. So I wouldn't see the ugly creatures they grow into. So I wouldn't be faced with the fact that no one stays the same.

I wouldn't see people grow into their worst fear.

Only when you leave,
Do I realize

I need you in my life.

He was popular, she was just a school girl
He thought he was alone, she thought she was known
He thought he had nothing, The girl knew that he didn't know he had everything. 
He found himself imperfect, the girl thought about how he was famous, good, smart, alive, had a family, had food, had a roof above his head.
He yearned to be perfect, but the girl knew all along that he was.
He waited for something to come, the girl had waited  long enough.
He wanted a distraction, she WAS the distraction.
He thought he was a goner, the girl who hated her birth day was already gone.
He Wanted to run away from the truth, the girl only knew the truth.
He supposed he was lonely, the girl had cried on her special day 'cause no one cared.
He was smart, she had parents screaming for better.
He was talented, she was a mystery, never to be revealed.
He was perfect, the girl realized she'll never be.

I pick up the broken pieces of my delicate heart,
Feeling the sharp edges cut my skin.

My blood oozes out my flesh,
Your name carried within.

You have poisoned my body,
So I bleed you out.

With every drop,
A kiss is left unfelt.

Dried out, it becomes scars,
Reminders of you,
And what you did to my once whole heart.

These broken pieces hurt like knives.
They burn my skin, redden it.
But only a silent scream escapes,
As I fall to the ground.

I lay on this deserted desert.
Only the cracked ground for company.

My thirst is unquenchable,
Since you are my water.

I'm far away from you,
Carrying this broken heart,
Watching it burn under the sun,
To red ashes.

My blood darkens,
Revenge cornering my mind.

But I love you,
How could you?

Slowly, I burn too.
I burn, with my broken heart.

Blood evaporating to the sky,
To heaven.

While I lay here,
In hell.

I clutch my heart,
Feeling the pain,
Loving it,
Since that's all I've learned to do.

Light entered the dark room.
It's soft glow lit up the dark corners of the room
And even went as far as lighting up the dark corners of her mind.
The warmth spread across her face as she stared into the light-
A fire inside her eyes.
She watched the candle roar with only one flame,
Not afraid if the yellow flicker would burn her heart
If she got too close-
Like she did.
She spat fire at her whenever she brought down her walls.
She had to constantly build them back up so she wouldn't get even the tiniest glimpse of her broken, crippled self.
Her heart and soul were worn out,
Burns marking their territory
And stretch marks seeping through because that one big part of her Learnt to shrink more and more
Just so she'd have more bricks to pile up as defense.
She lived in constant fear that her fire would turn more of her body black again.
She was tired of living in fear of suffocating in her smoke.
Her lungs were sore from breathing in her scorching words.
In the dark room she reached her hand out to the flame,
Something she never thought possible,
Her fingers clasping onto the heat.
Clasping onto the peace
From the lone candle.
She never tasted a fire so beautiful-
For once the orange didn't leave her soul in ashes.
She inhaled the burning serenity
Embracing it,
Engulfing it,
Enlightening her insides
With a new found happiness.
She let herself melt
Into a world brighter than the light
Gone in her eyes.

You shoot me down
And I will fall
Because I am not
Titanium.

Neither am I steel, Metal or strong at all.
I am made of flesh and blood,
And you will bring me down.

Not only according to the science of life,
But also because you make me
The happiest person I can be.

And when the happiest person
Doesn't have her happy,
She isn't that bright sunshine.
She's sad, melancholy and depressed.

You may not define me,
But you are what I need
And I want you,
I need you,
I miss you,
I love you.

Your words will hurt me,
Shoot me
And cut through my delicate skin.

I'm not going to pretend,
That you will never affect me-
You always will
Because I am in love with you.

You have left me,
Because I am not good enough.
But I promise you now,
I will be.

Yet you still hurt me,
Taunt me,
And bring me down.

Yes, I am breakable.

And you have, indeed, broken me.

I traced my finger
On the outline of his face.
Every pixel carrying the love
That we have for each other.

Smiles were real with him-
Worth capturing through lenses.
My eyes distracted by his beauty.
I was not looking at the camera-
Why should I?
Perfection was right beside me.

Every line of coloured
Running through the picture,
Encapsulating the fantasies that was wrapped around us.
No sign of reality
Since we were simply
Infatuated with each other.

The light displayed
Across the photograph
Showed sparks that lip up
When we were close together.
The fire that ignited
When I was with him.

Every curve and line
Represented the edges of fantasy
That we were standing on.
But with every kiss
My dreams came true
And every unimaginable wish
Turned to reality,
Giving us a step ahead
To stop us from falling.

Yet all good thing come to and end.
Remembering that this time next year,
We'd both be gone and left as a memory.
And this picture,
Along with others,
Would be the only proof we once were.

Tears threaten to escape
As I gripped the picture tighter.
What scared me the most
Was that we both
Have the ability to move on.
And the only thing stopping us
Was the recollection of love we once shared.

Tears spilled down the side of my face.
I didn't want to move on-
I'll be forced to.
I wasn't allowed to have a choice,
Wasn't allowed to hold on,
Wasn't allowed to want more.

Of this. Us.
We were what we were always going to end up being:
A dream. Magical.
Yet never lasting in the end.
Since we were too perfect.
It was too perfect.
He was too perfect.

Everything I ever wanted
Thrown away almost as I had finally
Grasped it.
Calling it mine.

I never wanted to let go of the best thing
That ever happened to me.
It wasn't fair.

The image of us
Was always going to be
A reminder that perfection exists.
And so does pure love.

I gently placed the picture back,
Along with the other snapshots
I had taken of him.
Happiness written across his face.
He was like my happy place.
In fact, he was much more.
And always will be.

Keeping this photograph meant something.
It meant I was never  ever letting him go

I pick up the broken pieces of my delicate heart,
Feeling the sharp edges cut my skin.

My blood oozes out my flesh,
Your name carried within.

You have poisoned my body,
So I bleed you out.

With every drop,
A kiss is left unfelt.

Dried out, it becomes scars,
Reminders of you,
And what you did to my once whole heart.

These broken pieces hurt like knives.
They burn my skin, redden it.
But only a silent scream escapes,
As I fall to the ground.

I lay on this deserted desert.
Only the cracked ground for company.

My thirst is unquenchable,
Since you are my water.

I'm far away from you,
Carrying this broken heart,
Watching it burn under the sun,
To red ashes.

My blood darkens,
Revenge cornering my mind.

But I love you,
How could you?

Slowly, I burn too.
I burn, with my broken heart.

Blood evaporating to the sky,
To heaven.

While I lay here,
In hell.

I clutch my heart,
Feelings the pain,
Loving it,
Since that's all I've learned to do.

They coo over a child,
A child that isn't so different to me.
But he has a cute face,
Charming smile.

Everything I don't.

My parents love them as if they never had a child.

While I fade into the background,
Yet the tears fresh and shinning,
The only thing that makes me stand out.
Yet, I still fail.

I fail to be what everyone wanted me,
To be.

I'm sorry for being myself,
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.

I'm sorry,
So I'll fade here,
Unnoticed.

If our lives wasn't so divided
Our hearts could've collided,
Space wouldn't define our status 
But It would be our safe haven
Where we could live among the craters
Riding on the shooting stars
Passing Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter
To finally land on Mars.
Because our love is out of this world.
Connect the dots you see in the night sky
And clearly written are the words 'You and I' 
I can finally call you Mine,
That word I trace on your skin and I realize
Platonic, romantic,
We were meant for each other.
Read the constellations,
Do you dare question the galaxy?