I don't know what it feels like to awake to my love
But I'm only seventeen

The fourth finger on my left doesn't feel heavy or covered
I'm only seventeen

The loneliness I feel is as real as the moon
But I'm still just seventeen

I have so much time
And so much more to do
I have myself to find
and maybe you're still seventeen too

It doesn't really matter, no
What will come
Fate has a way of announcing itself
Like a heavy bass drum
So we sit and we wait
And try to keep smiling
While we sit and we date
Without really trying

For seventeen is made for laughter
and last chances at childhood
For finding your soul
not a soulmate

I'm only seventeen
I have my whole life to live
my whole life to love
A life full of dreams.

You loved me like the phases of moons, all at once, then slowly, you would fall back into your phases, your love for me slowly getting smaller. Some days, I would break. I would cry, and scream at you, and you would build back up, to loving me fully, like a full moon illuminates the dark, night sky. I gave my all loving you, thinking one day, the moon will stay it's large, full size, brightening the sky, but slowly realized that the world is cruel, and that you never actually ever loved me.

Tonight i am alone
for such a beautiful night
i sit here,
chewing through my bones
waiting with such
the heavy eyes
waiting for your call
to come home
to lye by your side
with our bones wrapped
like unforgivable knotts
To caress your sweet skin
with my long thin fingers
to look into your eyes
and listen to your soft soft
breathing
but I am just here
choking on my own words
forgiving myself for
making up false hopes
for tonight I miss you
and when I awake tomorrow
I will miss you again
as I sit
chewing through my own bones.

I remember walking into the school building
The hallways seemed to be more hurried then it was normally
The air dense but withstandable
I remember hearing words fly from the mouths of other students
Words I barely new the meaning of
Death
It was everywhere poisoning the hallways
The classrooms
It seemed to be stuck on the ceiling and walls like gas
But I woar a mask of doubt
It couldn't be true
It just couldn't
Rumors!
My mind screamed to me
Rumors terrible rumors!
Lies they lie to me!
I went into my classroom
Keeping calm
Then my teacher said it...

"I know you've all have heard of Alexandra's death. She drowned, counselors will be free all week, if anyone needs to talk..."

My mask was pulled off my face
I was now choking on all the gas that made up the reality around me
I searched for something to tell me this was a joke... a dream... anything but real
I began to cry
Tears not like a leaky pipe
But like a waterfall
Much like the one she drowned in
I began to drown
Although metaphorically
She drowned physically
Her body was pulled beneath waves of water and it took her life
And took her away from me

Those days I didn't understand completely
But a drastic change overtook me
I began to see death
He bagan to walk by my side
The sound of gurgling water filled my ears at night
The picture of her face and beneath the surface of the water blinded my eyes she screamed
She cried
But her tears were washed away by the current
And I stood on the side of the river
Watching her drown
I stood without out a sound
As the bubbles grew fewer and the struggling ceased
I stood sickened
Why couldn't it be me