Dear Eager and Ready,

Darling the distance between us is daunting
Eager to feel your touch is haunting
Amorously in love with the gentleness of your smile
Romance is what I desire all the while

Delicious I imagine the taste of your mouth
Easily persuaded because I'm never in doubt
Anticipating the day that we'll be together
Relinquishing my love to you is my pleasure

Devotion to you I will promise forever
Elation guaranteed that will be my endeavor
Anxiously waiting for the magic to commence
Ready my love don't leave me in suspense
© 11/30/2018 by Elizabeth P. Reynolds

Carry me gently to the moon
My heart hurts darkness makes me swoon
I need to be rid of this intense guilt
Let me curve like a cat on the moon’s tilt
Let me touch tips of stars
Feel their heat heal my scars
When shadow comes I’ll travel home
A new energy fills my bones
I tingle with stars the moon on my back
And no longer feel dark’s vicious attack

~kb

i am in a haze today. it is cloudy and beautiful outside. it is also pressing down on my chest and i struggle for air. i wore your shirt to bed last night and it helped steady my oxygen supply. i wish you were here to say my name and speak to me in my native tongue to remind who i am and where i've come from. i'm forgetting everything, slowly. recreating yourself is only good when you haven't done it five thousand times over. i just want to be me now. but how do i become me if there is no you? pick me up from the library and walk me to class. hold my hand and tell me that you will stay with me no matter how grey the sky is or how cold my fingers feel.

to be kissed by him is to be trudging along a sidewalk in the midst of November, alone, cold, searching in the solemn for something to put an abrupt stop to your melancholy, and allow the coldness to heal the hot blood flowing from your open wounds,

a light blue car passes by you and it's playing the song you haven't heard since you were fifteen and in love, naive and in love, but feeling the warmth that love brings in every molecule in your body, filling your lungs and oxygenating your blood with familiar rhythmic groupings and effervescent notes  

your head lifts from your chest and the blockage from your ear canals drain and suddenly you can hear sounds that perpetually stimulate your heart strings, tugging and pulling, allowing tears to accumulate and flow through your ducts until your universe is no longer recognizable and in a state of nostalgic, aqueous disarray

you wipe the tears from your eyes,
you open your eyes,
you look into his eyes,
and oh god, you can see.

Che diremo stanotte all'amico che dorme?
La parola più tenue ci sale alle labbra
dalla pena più atroce. Guarderemo l'amico,
le sue inutili labbra che non dicono nulla,
parleremo sommesso.
La notte avrà il volto
dell'antico dolore che riemerge ogni sera
impassibile e vivo. Il remoto silenzio
soffrirà come un'anima, muto, nel buio.
Parleremo alla notte che fiata sommessa.

Udiremo gli istanti stillare nel buio
al di là delle cose, nell'ansia dell'alba,
che verrà d'improvviso incidendo le cose
contro il morto silenzio. L'inutile luce
svelerà il volto assorto del giorno. Gli istanti
taceranno. E le cose parleranno sommesso.

You stepped
Deep into
  The waters
   Of my soul

Patiently you searched
For the precious
     Stone

You found it
Warmed it
  Caressed it
And gave it
  To me
Unselfishly
  As a gift

And now
  It is ours
    And we call it
        Love

Why am I chained down by my suffering and misery?
Please, can someone set me free?  
Can you send me to my eternal resting place?
To be free from my suffering.
It’s alright, no one will miss me.
I’m all alone.
Won’t you send me to the depth of the underworld?
It’s dead on the inside, I’m just a walking corpse.  

I want to escape this world to the eternal darkness.
Give me a reason to live.
Give me a reason to be happy.
What is the point in smiling if it is a lie?
Why do I need to pretend that everything is going to be okay?
That only causes more pain.

I’m lying not only to myself but to everyone around me by creating a fake facade so I can feel whole again.  
The need to fill that empty void living in my heart is growing more and more as time goes on.
I can feel the chains burning as I’m held by my misery.
The longing to be free, to be able to feel the warmth of the sun hit my face.
I’m stuck…
Stuck between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.
Why should I stay positive when it feels like my life is falling apart?

These are my chain of misery.
Forever shackling me to this pain.