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  Dec 2018 AIA
Ally Ann
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of ****
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
  Dec 2018 AIA
Midnight Rain
last night i dreamt
a bullet escaped from your lips and
seared its head into
the crook of my neck
and i stood there in scarlet,
my last thought before i woke
painted my veins with life,


      “i will survive this.
                i will survive you.”

even in my dreams you are the death of me
  Dec 2018 AIA
Aghubbs
Forget me,
I ask you.
I forgot my smile,
I forgot my laugh.
I forgot me as a child,
I forgot my wrath.
For I have forgotten myself.
So don’t try and think that I am near
I won’t be here
And go away,
Once I fade,
Forget my wrath,
Forget me as a child.
Forget my laugh,
Forget my smile.
I ask you,
Forget me.
-AH
AIA Oct 2018
"Bakit ka nanatili sa relasyong hindi na masaya?"

Someone asked.

Kasi gusto ko. Kasi mahal ko. Kahit na alam ko sa sarili ko na higit pa rito ang pagmamahal na deserve ko, nag stay ako kasi kuntento ako. Kuntento siya sa ano ang kayang ibigay ko sakanya. Kuntento ako sa bagay na kung ano lang ang ibigay niya. Kahit masakit, kahit nawawala na minsan ang kilig. Kahit na hindi na nagiging masaya. Kahit madalas nag kakaproblema. Pinanindigan ko yung salitang binitawan ko sakanya na Mahal ko siya. Kahit na minsan nararamdaman ko na yung pagod at gustuhin ko na lang na sumuko na, pinipili ko parin na mag pahinga. Kahit minsan nakakasawa na pipiliin ko na lang na bumalik sa umpisa at isipin na siya yung paborito kong tao sa mundo, bakit ako magsasawa? Kahit na mag bago siya, sasabayan ko na lang yung pag babago niya. Aaminin ko na madalas kong naiisip na sana hindi na lang siya ang pinili ko. Na nag sisisi ako kung bakit ko pinili na patawarin siya ng paulit ulit pero sa huli narerealize ko, ako nga pinatawad niya ng maraming beses mag mula sa immature kong ugali ako pa kaya? ako na lagi niyang iniintindi sa lahat ng moodswings ko, siya pa kaya?
Dedicated to Jayvee Vallejos.

PS. Hi, love, I love you.
AIA Oct 2018
You inspire me in everything you do.
I don't know why I fall for you...
It's just that one day, biglang hinahanap hanap ko na yung presensya mo.
Yung ikaw na lagi ang gusto kong makatabi sa Van.
Yung ikaw na lang ang kukuha ng bayad ko.
Hopefully.
I'd like to playback the time where our hands touched and yung isang buong oras na mag katabi tayong dalawa.
Sana maulit ulit.
I would trade anything for that one moment.
To: Mr. KSP.
This love note was written a year ago.
AIA Sep 2018
Don't get too close. It's dangerous.

And

Don't get in. It's too lonely inside.
Dedicated to our former CSO and HG.
P.S They are my two closest friends and they're leaving me now. I just realized that people come and go. Wala e ganon talaga.
AIA Sep 2018
"People leave, you know. But for some people, it just doesn't seem fair."
Ps. I just got related to this sentence. It was from a 2014 movie called "Boulevard"
PPS. Dedicated to Jayvee Vallejos
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