Wish I could tell you all the things in my mind,
swimming in circles, breathing fire.
I lost myself a thousand years ago,
And with time there was no desire to be anything,
I'm satisfied with nothing...
but they don't want that for me
they always want everything.

After all will be said and done,
I'll still mourn for your loss.
I am still young, forever old,
cold and calculating the cost,
evaluating what is left for the lies,
in my truth.. I never asked the price.

now they will enslave me,
take away the air and replace it with chains,
I remember their faces, I do..
but I cannot recall their names,
ghosts and angels,
they tell me..
that my time is near
I hear their blame,
can they not see my pain?


I cannot tread any mountain,
nor I can change the direction of any river,
spring means nothing to snow,
it'll only fall in winter..
to paint my creed
so black and white
so frozen..
I am broken..
yet, I cannot leave
I cannot breathe
if I stop to breathe,
Would I die?


No,


I've done that for a thousand years,
and I'm still more alive than dead
and one day they will whisper my name,
oh, they will scream it in the air
and I will be everywhere,
burning everything to the ground,
for in time they will make a monster,
oh, when my parents will die..
there would be nothing but a thousand years of vengeance,
raining down from my eyes.



and I will forgive no one.

Dear god, why don't you love me
a little more than I deserve
why is that you're invisible
why be so reserve
Show me yourself now
or I will forget I believe
I'm just talking to myself
am I not ?
maybe I should leave
only an empty space and nothing more
it's all just science and facts
but I still hope you are there
for whenever that panic attacks
but why not be my father?
why won't you love me like a mother?
is there someone else more deserving
do you love me less than some another?
so why must you be my king ?
I'm just wondering
I've done ******* and it's awesome
that means you're on something different
and better
so why don't you share it together
why must I wait forever
only to die in your name
tell me
you don't feel any pain
you don't feel my anger ?
do you even know my name
have you seen tears of my mother
why must I praise you
when I haven't even seen your face
oh, don't tell me you're everywhere
I won't play that game in my heart,
that's just not the place
for when it is broken
you won't mean nothing
for every door that wasn't open
something died within
those pieces are lost now
buried behind a thousand walls
do you think it is only my fault,
that I don't believe in you at all?

I have one brain
one heart
two eyes
to see my path
and once again
I am,
falling apart.

counting my tears
until I'm free
abiding by my years
as the clock strikes three
bringing the hammer down
on my time
if I make it till four
I would live more than
I ever intended to be
I cannot see
if I'm still alive
been like this
since i was five
maybe i have died
I do not know anymore,
and it's all just a dream, a lie,
I cannot do the maths anymore.



I am afraid of
the man in the mirror
there's a strange
silence to it
this place is different
there's no sun rise at six
no tomorrow that exists
and by seven
it will be night once again.

if I'm not awake
by eight
don't bother ever again
I won't be running late
cats have nine lives
so cruel for them


ten.

you were a bird
locked inside a cage
and I set you free

I watched you fly high
so far away from me

looking back as I recall
it was all my fault
between you and dreams
I got caught

you were the scar
that my tears could never fill
now that I think about it
the thought makes me ill

how much we give up
for just a moment of peace
somewhere between memories
those people leave
and all that is left
buried and kept
is the pain
we cannot weep


in your eyes
I saw the lies that were true
you never turned back
and the distance grew
I waited patiently
for another eternity
but our love
couldn't make it through

they say it's ugly
what love does
what we do
it hurts so much more
when it's true


you were the heart
I placed inside my own
but the kids are lost
and the years have grown
far from our reach
there was nothing for us to keep
and when the smiles faded
there was no one left to mourn


you were the night
I lost myself in your arms
bleeding and falling apart
your voice kept me calm

holding together
what was left inside
once upon a december
you brought me back to life


now the winter falls again
and I seek your warm

no matter how much I cried
you were gone

cometh another spring
I still wait for you

beside the cage, alone.

sittingidle
smoke rings in the air
I'm aware of my existence
and the vast darkness
everywhere else
speaking to me
in a riddle
in language I do not understand
there's more to this
more than what we used to know
how lonely is it
that everything grows
so old and rotten
someday never to be
always forgotten
in the end
how calm can you be
when it's burning you cold
mouth full of ash
as you mourn and choke
there's no home
we have no heart
that feeling that cuts you deep
against your throat
you fear no more
before
it was a different story
and now you have no tale to tell
to sell
you've lost everything already
no on else's guilty
everyone else is lonely
you've only felt lonely
there's more to this world
than your ugly idols
so many lies have made their home in my mind,
there's nothing left for anything else and I'm slowly turning blind
Consuming what is left of my conscience
sittingidle
smoke rings in the air
light bulb flickering
and darkness everywhere
as far as I can see
as far as I can tell
there's nothing much
left to be
all existence
whispering in this emptiness
of scars that cannot heal
there's nothing to feel
I have lost myself
on my own
so alone
so cold
and lonely
such a lovely time
inside my mind
where lies
find their home
beneath the stones
filling all cracks
waiting patiently
to be free
sittingidle

falling like rain all my scars are drowned
I've been eating pain and I'm wearing a crown
a king without a kingdom
what was that sound ?
am I the only one
i can't hear what's around
made in ground
buried in the sky
so far away from this place
that I've lost my count
I own nothing inside of me
everything feels
feels something stranger than normal
and how i lost everything
when I was found
how quickly they forget
world's not round
it's stretches as far as your mind
but what do I know
I'm just a clown
breathing my own tears
in fear of my living planet
do you see me smile
why do you have to lie ?
don't you know
I'm never coming down
I don't care
if that's all I'll ever get
everything there's to me
I'm not bound
to your laws and creed
I'm free
far from your world
and all your lies
anything that shines
is not necessarily  light
at the end of the tunnel
sometimes it's just the sun
staring down on you
inches away from your face
as you finally perish in the sky
just when the rain comes down

karma **** me in pieces
I have no guilt
the house you've built
has no walls
and my all
everything I own
is out in the open
alone

set in stone
my unknown fear has
broken a heart that
won't have no faith
oh, how much I hate
my wait
to die young

karma find me
tell me if I'm alive
I have a question
why life ?
there must've been
so much more before

open the door
and let me in
karma,
it's so cold outside
and I'm frozen within
my tears are ice
cutting my skin
and bleeding an ocean
of nothing


tears don't mean a thing
they don't exist
stop resisting with all your strength
you make me sick
I think I will die
before you can get rid of me


I think I've faded before
but that wasn't my fault
it was not me
someone else got caught
it was so long ago
I must have forgotten
he was not me
I've never been any rotten





















autumn comes and goes
but I find no birds
the trees won't talk
I think I'm lost
where nobody knows
somewhere in you
switch on the lights
see me as I am
I've always been yours




leave me be
there's nothing else to see
I've seen all I can
but that's not enough
to buy an ounce of dream
do not scream
you don't have to whisper
i won't linger for long
i do not belong here at all
inside these walls
****