We danced all through the night,
Far too long
Kicking up dust
Until we could no longer see each other.

12/19/15

I hope that I lurk in the corners of your mind, creeping out into the light when you're alone.
I hope that when you hear my name, your heart secretly hammers in your chest.
I hope that you stare at the back of my head when you think no one is looking.
I hope that when you imagine your future children, they have my eyes.
I hope that the sweetest part of your favorite song is reserved for thoughts of me.
I hope that you are most completely and utterly wrapped around my little finger.
Now aren't I selfish?
I hope you are too.

Up, up, up…
       Let’s fly away to a magical land
       We can sing and skip hand in hand
Out, out, out…
       To the space outside
       Let’s watch the receding tide
Laugh, laugh, laugh…
       Look at the singing birds,
       Out here, there need not be words
Spin, spin, spin…
       Let’s dance all the way
       Down the hill this very day
Smile, smile, smile…
       Like the wind, we’re free
       Quick! Out to the tree
Run, run, run…
       Up the hill and down
       My smile never a frown
Play, play, play…
       I can always be good tomorrow
       But today I have my new carved arrow
Down, down, down…*
       Uh-oh. I hear my mother’s voice now.
       It’s time to leave now. Right now.
Coming, Mother!

I leapt as far as I dare not
To do naught but prove wrong or right
Yet knowing not if what I sought  
Was truly the truth I ought to fight;
Who can know what really exists
Without that tug that so insists?
If there be such a like as doubt
There must be grains of faith about.

Without faith, there be doubt, but with,
There must be some belief inside.
Standing here, looking down the cliff
Walls, eyeing this gap so mightily wide,
On two feet must I stand, so sure;
As tall as the mustard seed did spur
So filled with courage and little pride –
Weight that sinketh, not make me glide

No lies can I then tell or then
Shall I fall – or not even step.
Courage must I have the day when
I try; no burdens then to schlep.
But try I must, for what indeed
Is life without our soul’s life’s need
For adventure and risk. Oh! How
Hard, though, to take the first step now.

No ground under my feet but what’s
Inside my soul; breast pounding hard;
Then mind and heart align; fear cuts
Its tie on me, and fall does my guard
I had so carefully mortared.
Now soars my hope like wizened bird.
Leap, for you cannot know ‘tis faith
Lest fruit of actions so saith.

I’m sorry I needed to hear you say it. I’m sorry I was so needy, so desperate to hear you tell me to my face. I’m sorry I wouldn’t let go until you did. But I’ve changed. I know how to take a hint. I won’t bother you anymore. I won’t keep dragging you down, hurting you, taking you to dark places you don’t want to be. I’ll listen to what you’re really saying instead of requiring you to tell me. I’ll read what I’ve been seeing between the lines for a long time, but tried so hard to ignore, simply because I didn’t want it to be true. I know you’re done with me. I’m completely used up. You have no more need for me. I knew it for a long time, but had to hear you say it before I would release you. I know that’s a hard thing to say to anyone, even after you’re finished with them, so I’m done waiting for you, expecting you to. You’re free. Free from me, free from my *******, free from my hurtful abusive captivity. I won’t hurt you anymore.

She checks her wristwatch
Counterclockwise
Against her former expectations
Of the metal
Around her wrist
She checks her digital clock
The one on the stove
That flashes
Flash, flash, flash, flash
Like a silent metronome
When the power goes out
And comes back on
12:31
12:30
12:29
Calm
She is still calm
Breathing
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
Steady
Like the bobbing of a buoy, bouncing
Brazenly in open sea
You see
She sees
That time can be trickery
That conceptual thoughts
Provoke mystery
Illusions and delusions
Conclusions and intrusions
Seclusion
She has many things
About which
To think

There are 10 kinds of people in this world,
and binary accounts for them all.

They're happy and sad.
They're ones and zeros.
Villains and heroes.
Villains, yet not all bad.
Despite everything life decides to hurl;
Despite every brick ball of fear
Through the stained glass windows of their minds,
Through it all, they survive.
They're angry and glad.
They're happy and sad.

And in their duality, they're still smiling there
at your sharp hasty words
at your venomous hurt
that you wish so desperately they, too, shared.