I'll be waiting for that day

The day when I don't even care
whether someone really screamed your name
or it's just a stranger with the similar name

The day when I don't even bother to cry at night
when people remind me about us

The day when I put smile on my face
and you're not the reason behind it

The day when I can lay my head down,
without feeling sad
without sheding a tear

The day when I run
not because of the things I've been avoiding
but because of the things I've been pursueing - before I met you

The day when my world
doesn't revolve around you.

I'll be waiting

And I'm all ******* again.

You just don't get it.
I can't feed this addiction to you
Anymore
Because it's breaking me down.

You want to read my pages
But they're riddled with you
And you want to see my words
But they're all just your name.

And I need to learn to speak up
For myself.

you were the unforgiving sun
i was the blood-red rose slowly wilting
you were the trigger of a gun
i was the lost deer - eyes barely blinking
you were the puppeteer
i was the marionette tangled on a string
you were the chaos I hear
i was the stubborn kid left begging

you were the delusions in my head
i was the patient refusing medication
you were the temptations I was fed with
i was the sinner never seeking salvation
you were the eerie howl at dawn
i was the girl with so much desperation
you were the gloomy song
i was the mad one singing in unison

it was you who messed me up
now I am flawed as I'll ever be
this madness will never stop
until someone rescues me