Being with you was like eating sunshine
I was full
I was happy
I was warm

I am who I am,
                  I am!

                 ...am I?
        ...Who am I?

I wanted to change the world so it suited my subtleties,
You just wanted to change so you could fit better into society.

You went quietly whilst I went kicking and screaming.
I stayed awake for days whilst you lay next to me sleeping.

Since then,

we only speak in dreams,
and the cooler side of the cushion,
is the opposite team,
& so no it seems,

I’ve been lost since you left me,

for dead.

My best friend,
a nest egg
of opportunities.
I was a student of you
&
your beautiful truth,
but
we,
cr ac ke d,

under the pressure;

I still haven’t learn’t my lesson,
but
i’ll treasure you forever,
until we meet again,

Even though now,
you're a shell of your former self.

Nothing in the middle to divide us,
fading health,
too stubborn,
to ask for help.

I can feel my heart sinking to my stomach
And violence raging inside of me
I can feel fighting take place between take place between my hands and my mind
Because I want so horribly to reach for the knife
I've been hiding just a few feet away
I feel chaos in my veins
Because my heart is trying to pump out the blood so rapidly
To the area you have just exposed
And maybe it wasn't me with the knife after all
Maybe it was you
And maybe it's been you that has been causing
These devastating blows to my body
And I'm really not sure how much longer
I'll be able to take
Your punches to my head
Or your kicks to my sides
Or the poisoned alcohol you've coated my throat with
I'm also not sure about your own sanity
As well as I'm not sure about mine
But I think you've lost it
I believe, we've lost it
I don't know who you are anymore
Maybe I didn't know you to begin with
And maybe you've always been a faceless stranger
And I've been reaching out for your hand lately
Hoping to find familiarity within your palms
But for some reason I am so lost in them
I am more than lost
I am astray
Perished
And destroyed
And I'm not sure who's hand I'm reaching g out for anymore to save my from this
Sinking
Ship
Of
Perplexity...

You're in love with me
But I'm in love with him
And he's in love with her
I am torn.
He kisses my cheeks when she is not around
The bouquet of compliments grows
He wraps his arms around me tight
Explaining how happy he is that I came tonight

This is an open letter to anyone who feels the need to share their poetry with me
This is an open letter for anyone who wants to bury their face in an endless succession of books with me
This is an open letter to anyone who will listen to records with me at 2 A.M.
Someone who will buy me coffee with a bit of sugar, but more creamer
This is an open letter to anyone who wants to watch the cars go by with me
Someone who will warm up my heart with cups of soup and soft blankets
This is an open letter to anyone who has the audacity to love me for myself
Someone who will not shout and hold my wrists down when I cut my hair too short
This is an open letter to the adventures, the game changers.
I need truthfulness.
I need laughter.
I need someone to fill up the empty cracks in the delves of my palms.
I want silly candids in the city.
I crave long nights spent driving around, staring at flashing streetlights on an abandoned road.
I want postcards sent from everywhere you've ever stopped and missed the tone of my voice and my unsettling hands.
An open letter to those who collect seashells, like a ******* addiction.
To those who love thunderstorms as much as I do, and would much rather hide in the rain than bask in the sun.
Rain is for us, you know.
To those who will dazzle me with their immense vocabulary.
Those who will capture my attention like sharp swords catch the edge of fabric on your right shoulder.
Those who want to stay up until the sun peaks up from behind the tall mountains and wraps words around my skin in the early hours of dawn.
The ones who whisper sweet nothings on the phone with me until I drift off to sleep
An invitation to those who kiss with their eyes closed and imagine the days and nights passing between our lips.
To those who believe lightning is just God taking pictures of us, he wants to see how you're doing.
This is an open letter to those who live to write and write to live.
To those who thrive on the emotions behind paintings and live to see their fingers swell.
This is an invite to anyone who isn't afraid to become messy with me
To dance in our underwear while we paint fresh daisies on the apartment walls
To those who aren't afraid to eat Popsicles with me on the kitchen floor.
To those who help me find endings in places I need to place a period.
This is an open invite to anyone who is willing to light off fireworks with me on the courthouse lawn.
A careful boy with thick brown hair
And sea green eyes
Freckles and thick framed glasses
A boy who isn't afraid to get his hands *****
A nightowl
A poet
He carries a brief case around and calls me darling.
His favorite thing is big spoon
And his inspirations come from me
He's never lied to me once
He doesn't like sports, but sometimes he can go for a game of soccer
He always takes photos of me when I'm not looking and he collects them like the way he collects metaphors
He wants to be wanted as much as I do
And he looks for me too
I love you
I hope to meet you soon

I just want to get drunk,
But maybe I already am..

I love you
You keep saying this to me
Expecting me to start undoing my bottoms
But that picture of you and her has been burned into my memory
You act like you two are just friends
But you are also a liar
Tell my wrists you love me
You are the guilter
Love to make others endure your pain, rather than dealing with things that are actually your fault
A table turner
Youve put yourself inside more than 20 bodies
I'm sick
I'm sick to my stomach
My tears stain my face like window pane glass catches rain
You tell her I'm crazy behind my back
That I'm JEALOUS
I want to claw your eyes out with rusty swords
I want to cut your tongue out of your mouth with a saw
To stain white carpets with your blood and not my own this time
I want to put your head on a spear and throw it down into the deep depths of the ******* ocean
I will show you ******* crazy
I want to rip your fingernails off one by one with a pair of tweezers
I want to shave your hideous eyebrows off your face
I want to cut off chunks of your hair with a swiss army knife and then bleach it
I want to gouge your eyeballs out with toothpicks and feed the remains to the piranhas
I want to pull all of the muscle out of your body and leave it for the ******* flames
Don't call me baby
I want to wax all of the legs hair off you
I want you to fall in love with someone
And then make you watch videos tapes of them cheating on you
Over and over and over
Until your eyes are a blood shot mess
Dont ask for forgiveness
You will never receive it
You are the devil reincarnated
I swear
I wouldn't be surprised if you were Satan's spawn
I hate you
I hate you like
The way my grandfather hates hypocrisy and things all against the bible
I hate you
The way my grandmother hates disorganization
I hate you
Like the way my mind hates my body
I want to wrap myself in a cocoon and never return until youre gone
My body misses sleep so much
But yet, here you sleep perfectly and j wish I could wrap my arms into your conscious and turn the switch back on
Why won't you change
I have never met anyone so disgusting
My chest physically aches when I heave for air
Because you've been sitting on my heart like a dagger
You're wounding to everyone around you
I am so sick of your voice
Hell I'm sick of my own
I just, can't figure out how one person can make you so sad.
I hate everything
But especially you.
Mostly you.