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 Jan 2016 Anna-Mae
emptydurbansky
I want you to love me this morning
I want you to replace the clothes on hangers in my closet
I wish you'd come back and remember me like it was winter.
I know that I haven't written about you since the summer
And that it was supposed to be the last and angry love letter
But the velocity of strokes in which my pen creates always circles back and I find myself etching your initials into my skin.
When I was younger, I promised myself I'd never cry over any boy.
The tomboyish version of my younger self always thought sobbing over boys was a pathetic act of desperation, accomplishing nothing but sopping sleeves and swollen eyes.
It wasn't until you left months ago, that I realized, the tears that streaked down my face were cleansing my body from everything you've ever touched.
I have scrubbed my skin in the shower trying to get your name off of my chest.
I have rinsed and repeated more times than you can count on your slender fingers;  that always used to ache whenever I held them for too long.
Sometimes, people stop and ask me how long it's been since you last loved me.
I tell them I was never truly yours
But I would still sit on your bookshelf and collect dust with the poetry I wrote you,
If that's what you wanted, but I know you'd always cover me with coffee stains and cigarette butts
I know it's wrong
But I can help the anger from seeping out through the bottom of my pen
I hope one day, you feel comfortable enough to love someone
Without making them bleed
I hope one day, you give up manipulation
And running red lights
I hope you realize this is the last of the last
And I hope god begins to paint pictures of me laughing with my head tilted back and the smile broadening on my face when I learn how to let people in
I hope they jump with me.
I hope it's you.
 Jan 2016 Anna-Mae
emptydurbansky
In 8th grade
We had a long absence due to the misguidance of friends
Because of jealousy
At the end of the year,
We slowly began to talk once more
You explained the terrors of your parents divorce
Leaving out the big details
We weren't close yet
Freshman year
I spent long evenings at your house
And ate dinner with your religious family
The summers we spent laughing until the early hours of dawn
You spoke more about your father
You explained the significance of the night he spat in your face
Exclaiming his hatred for you
This broke you down to nothing but crushed pieces of a human
In the second term of sophomore year
You didn't come to school
Teachers asked where you were and I tried to make it subtle
You missed over three months that year
Junior year
Your absences racked up
You missed school for "surgery excuses"
You couldn't put your shoes on
You lost clothing items
Senior year
You were home schooled
I was forced to walk idly around the school like a hopeless ghost
Wishing for the friendship you and I had
Wishing for someone who cares
That's your favorite
You dont care about anything
You're selfish
You have no goals set up for yourself at the end of the tunnel
Your long distance relationship came to an end because you lost feelings
But I've been missing my first love since march and you've been telling me to just
"Forget about it"
Its not that easy, you say it is.
You are defensive
You're excuse is the depression
You want to up the dose of your medication
You know, sometimes people say you need to just get over your depression
That's equivalent to saying "HEY! YOUR EMOTIONS ARENT VALID",
Which is exactly what you did to me
I'm not trying to degrade your depression
I've been there
But you've placed yourself in the bottom of the pits for three years
And no one can help you anymore
Its up to YOU to pull yourself out
Stop depending on temporary people to breach your armor of happiness
It never works
Ive been there
Take care of yourself
Take a shower
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Look in the mirror
Tell me if you love the person who looks back at you
I dont think you do..
 Jan 2016 Anna-Mae
emptydurbansky
I have a name
One of those names you leave on welcome mats, but don't leave a key under because you're afraid of letting someone in.
Its easy to dust your feet off on me.
You do so everytime you leave this half empty house
I'm easy to leave
You don't think twice about making sure  the door is locked
You don't linger on the porch steps near my name
If the house was on fire, I'd be the very last thing you'd save.
You don't bring me inside in the winter
I'm a placeholder
I keep the dirt from reaching  your crippled frames.
I'm not a necessity.
I mean, how many people have welcome matts anymore?
I have a name.
But it doesn't bring joy to your home.
I'm not a welcome mat.
I am a mat of despair and anguish.
"Yes, please enter our lovely home! I've died here more times than you can count on your temperate fingertips!"
I do not feel like home
I do not soothe you on cold rainy days, but rather sit in the damp haze of depression.
I am not your welcome mat.
 Jan 2016 Anna-Mae
Harry Cencer
I gave her a necklace
And asked for a smile
I gave her a compliment
And asked for a laugh
I gave her my hand
And asked for hers back
I gave her my heart
And asked for hers back
I gave what I had
And didn't ask for much back

But when I started getting no's
When I started getting "I can't"
When I started getting nothing at all

My heart broke just a little too much
 Jan 2016 Anna-Mae
Maia Boncan
what a thrill
it must be
to run my hands
through your hair

what a pleasure
it must be
to laugh under
linen sheets

oh, what a rush
it must be
to graze
your lips

oh, the thought of you
first trending poem! thank you :)

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