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  Apr 2015 Ash Saveman
Cat Fiske
I,
Struggle,
Day to day,
To,
Fit in,
Eat publicly,
Pay attention,
Keep my focus,
Live in this house,
Live at all,
But,

My,
Friends,
Struggle,
To,
Respect,
That I am another intellect,
That I want to be correct,
But,
They tell me,
Its something I'll never be,
And too see,
I''m a defect.  
Then,

My,
Teacher,
Struggles
To,
Understand,
Lunch is used by me,
to get my extra help I need,
That I'm not Bullshitting,
When I say I want to,
Succeed,
So Lunch,
Is used by me,
To bleed,
While you sit and read,
Claiming I miss read,
into what you just said,
So then,

My,
Mom,                          
And my,
                              Daddy,
Fight,
Hating everything wrong with me,
A daughter who couldn't of been born,
Paralyzed physically,
But Mentally,
Is causing them both to verbally,
Abuse each other consistently,
But,

We,
Still,
Go to Church every Sunday,
As a Family,
And Believe in a God,
Not Everyone does,
Because not everyone can See what he has done,
And then we come Home,
And the fights Continue,
And no one wants to be Home,
Because like God,
People don't want to Believe,
In a Thing they cannot See,
So,

I'll,
Have to,
Keep going on,
Letting the world kick me when I'm Down,
Because I've been down forever,
And no one wants me,
To come up,
just enough,
To feel strong and safe,
in this world of hate,
where our perception,
out weighs the truth,
The reality,
and the well being,
Of innocent,
little girls,
Who'd rather die most days,
then live,
because of a lack of,
perception.
This is just a little poem about perception, that ties into my life.
  Apr 2015 Ash Saveman
CJ Hattingh
When posed the question:
"What do you want out of life"
I reply
"Life forced me to be here, all I want from life is death"
Ash Saveman Apr 2015
Head spinning
Heart pounding
What is this feeling?

I want to reach into my chest and rip my heart out.

No more pain.
No more hurt.
No more suffering.

The abuse would slip away.

The scars wouldn't sting anymore.

My heart won't pound with pain.

Everything will be quite.
Everything will be still.

Nothing will hurt.
It will all be alright.

Heart pounding.
Head spinning.
What is this feeling?
Darling Darling
You are not okay
Your eyes are wet
And your wrists are stained
Darling Darling
You are not alone
These thoughts are not yours
You don't have to go home
Darling Darling
You can run away
Not to danger
But a place to stay
Darling Darling
Don't you see
You don't need to go
You're safe here with me
Darling Darling
Don't you say it
We won't be better off
We won't celebrate it
Darling Darling
Don't you cry
I know it's hard
So just close your eyes
Darling Darling
I'm right here now
I will love you
I think I know how
Darling Darling
You're alright
Look at you
Living another night
Darling Darling
You're not dead
I'm so proud
Now rest your head
Darling Darling
Look at the time
You're fast asleep
And you'll be just fine
Darling Darling
I wish you'd see
I love you
Just as you love me
No disclaimers
Ash Saveman Apr 2015
Real girls
Strong girls
Girls who scream into their pillows at night, cuz **** it! No one listens

Real girls
Strong girls
Girls who have forgotten what trust is, cuz **** it! No one cares

Real girls
Strong girls
Girls who spend all night listening to songs that remind them of theirsituation, cuz **** it! No one understands

Real girls
Strong girls
Girls who occupy all their time thinking about that one person, cuz **** it! They'll never be hers

Real girls
Strong girls
Girls who put on a face every day, cuz **** it! No one can handle who they are

Real girls
Strong girls
Girls who push through every day, cuz **** it! No one makes it better, cuz **** it! They keep trying, but **** it! The rainbow won't appear and life doesn't become happy again....

Real girls
Strong girls

**** THAT!!!!!

I ain't real and I ain't strong!
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