This song has always reminded me of you,
Even in the short months when you were plastered to my sky
Blinding me with your ephemeral light.
I guess it was the pessimist in me,
Predicting tragedies and crushing fantasies
Small enough to snort up my slimy nostrils.
Oh, how brightly you would shine then-
How fiercely you would burn.
I had been cold for so long, born inside a prison of ice
Where the only thing that would circulate was
Distance and Loneliness.
You warmed me, allowing my body
To feel a pulse of happiness
That it had never known.

You let me experience a sunny day
Only to fall out of my deep blue and roll into the ambushing darkness.

How quick the sun can drop away...

You left me stained with years of memories
That can't be erased, they stay lingering.
And this bitter taste engraved on my tongue
Will be what I expect from any form of love.
I know, one day you'll be happy without me
But I'll always look to the sky with the deepest of longings
Only to find that it's dark and empty.
Heavy rain washes over me,
In waves of grey and black.
This is all I see,
All that I am
All I'll be
Without you, nothing.
Empty, lonely, pathetic nothing.
Walking through fields of clouds and moondust,
Kicking up corpses of hopeful wishes and love.

-SLuR

Colour Blind

I don't see the colour of your skin.

I see
the colour of your heart.

Is it dark and putrid or
is it the color of a soft and lilting tune?
Is it filled with warm tones,
or cold?
Hues of ice and snow,
or gold?

Do you give or take?
Do you love or hate?

I don't see race or faith,
I just see you-
your energy, your words, your actions.

I see you; I just simply
see you.

Spending a month in a hospital teaches you a lot about people.
The doctor that told me to shave my head or she wouldn't treat me,
The nurses that spent forever chatting to me
And giving me supportive advice about how my illness doesn't define me.
The woman who was given a terminal cancer sentence
And chose not to pay attention to it and defied it anyway.
How she sat next to me on my bed,
Told me that all suffering is valid,
And just because I'm not dying, doesn't mean I don't get to complain.
How she complains more about her skin problems
Than she ever complained about her cancer,
And that's OK, because pain rarely follows rules.
I never even learned her name,
But she gave me the words I hold most closely to me
On those days when I want to fall asleep and never wake up.
I'm allowed to scream and shout and rage against the pain
And the unfairness of it happening to me.
I just have to make sure I know where the line is
Between giving my darkness a voice and pitying myself.

There are so many things in this world
I mean that in the literal sense
there are bananas, apples and figs
heroine, needles and cigs
the thing...
the thing I am struggling with
is
what matters

What should I care about?
really tell me
is there some sort of roadmap
to lead me to my goal

help me
really
there's *** and there's piety
there's the bottle and there's deities
there's a mountain built above me
full of expectations,
plans and potential
and I have no means with which to climb it

I don't get it
how do other people pick
how do terrorists actually commit to terrorism?
I'm serious
obviously their actions are appalling
but how are they so sure
how do womanizers become womanizers
im serious
is there some threshold I've yet to cross
some achievement I've yet to receive

I feel like everyone around me knows who they are
When I can't figure out what I like

It's  been  a  lovely  spring  evening..
The  sun  now  setting.
It's  rays  filtering  through  the  trees.
Causing  dancing  shadows
on  the  white  clad  cottages.
Across  the  way.
Orange  tinted  clouds
drifting  across  the  heavens.
As  if  seeking  a  destination.
quite  a  pretty  picture.

Keith  Wilson.  Windermere.  UK.  2016.

You always asked me
"What would I be without you?"
To be brutally honest,
that question scares me to death
because I already know the answer
and I don't want that responsibility
of being your one true love
there is a fine line
between love and obsession
and I'm afraid to say
that you've crossed over
to the other side
where love isn't enough
constant attention isn't enough
daily praise isn't enough
I refuse to be a prisoner to your love
you can't capture me
and put me in a high tower
out of fear that others
may find me desirable
I have spent many a night
scratching and scraping
at the walls of this prison
and today I broke through
and saw the other side of love
the love that is free
and trusting
and encouraging
and amazing
I couldn't look away
I had to have it for myself
so I pulled at the wall
until my fingers were bleeding
and the sharp jagged pieces
ripped through my skin
as I crawled through
the tiny hole I was able to make
I think I even let pieces of hair behind
but no matter
because I am now free
away from your angry clutches
and my new love is helping me
to seal up that wall for good
and I shall tell all about that very day
that I escaped from hell on earth
I wish you could see my smile
it would irk you
and that thought
would make me smile
throughout eternity