I loved you...I really loved you.
But that "D" at the end of the word love,
is liberation.
Past tense freedom, from feeling dumb,
and tense and tired,
and numb and dense ,
uninspired love needed that "D", for proper punctuation.

Ending a love that faded,
with too many tries, wasted time, and de ja vu goodbyes.
It’s not just you I leave behind, it's the person that I was when we met.
Two of us, two years in,
in two years, we both grew, into fears
and far from respect.
That "D" at the end of the word love,
means love is possible again, just not with you.
And unlike just being friends,
or sticking with it until the end, of time,
I’m, being realistic, and finding truth.

Who made who so sadistic?
Angry and twisted, just 2 misfits throwing ***** fits.
Is true love truly so egotistic?
Asking a biased source, so of course it is, kid.
Passion ran it’s course, now my pain is specific.
A lack of reciprocation, mixed with a growing distance.
Because as I grew, I grew farther from you,
as I tried so hard to stay close,
in hopes, that if properly approached,
I can fix us both.
But I may have just been fixing something that wasn’t broke.

With time, you stole parts of my heart, soul, and mind that can never be returned.
A third of my heart is left inside lessons learned, so the next 3 words that come out of my mouth,
are “I loved you”.
And that "D" at the end of love,
is the only way that I can rise above, what we are, and call it was, cause it’s history.
And if I don’t learn from it, I’m doomed to repeat it.
In tune with what I need, in need to seek out me, and lose the we.
It’s true that I loved you, but the God's honest truth is I never loved you as much as I love me.

And I hope you understand how that could be.

You
        may
               be
                    in
                       my
                             dreams,
                                          but
                                                you
                                                      are
                                                            not
                                                                  of
                                                                      them.

At some points of my life, I feel completely lost, distracted or in pain,but I keep going, believing that one day everything will be Better.

Hiding behind text messages
we believe immunizes the heart
is a forced loneliness
a perpetual confinement
in a dark room, with low music
which only breeds madness

In such famine, the body desires touch
the soul craves fellowship
the mind requires intellectualism
laughs between true friends
and shared tears
of kindred spirits

Once we can no longer bear starvation
comes the gluttonous feast
As wretched hogs at a trough
any form of attention is consumed
to fill the growing chasm of
worthlessness

Blinded by false admiration on backlit screens
the body, the soul, and the mind savors
cheap flattery of dark temptations
Vulgarity drools thick as blood from blackened lips
The sweet tinge of grief
that bitter hit of hatred
spirals descent into the dark void
that forever hides the light

Like smoke you dance in my daydreams,
Beckoning me with **** me eyes and a lazy grin
An orange hue sunsetting your fire,
The curl of your finger saying come hither

And I wake from this like fire into water
I watch you twirl slower and slower
Into steam, you disappear like the wind
and with resignation again I'll dream

rapacious dreams
of you and screams
haunt the seams
of incorporeal subsistence

(i miss your flesh)

012804~10.34p

I am a glass half full
And half empty
My life is harmless, but also deadly.
I smile and laugh without any fears
But late at night I drown myself
In my own demons and fears