Darkness closing in
a weight upon my chest.
I struggle to find the light,
fighting with ragged breath.
Every inch of sanity clawed back
a battle that is hard fought.
Being a prisoner in ones own head,
lost in horrible thought.
Fighting against your every being
desperate to survive.
With desperation and fading hope
For normalcy, you strive.
Crushed under weight of words
and reflections of your self
Wanting nothing more than to be placed
upon the highest shelf.
Out of sight, out of mind
so you don’t burden others with your troubles.
Everyone else is so full of life
As carefree as a bubble.
But your bubble has burst
and released an ocean of pain
You hold all the emotions back
Fighting for your sanity to remain.
You put up walls around you
and bottled everything down deep.
You tried to fight the war yourself,
but this enemy is hard to beat.
So you locked yourself away,
shut from the outside world.
But this just fed the darkness
and even more troubles unfurled.
You fought in silence at parties
not wanting to ruin the mood.
You just sat there saying nothing,
and instead chose to brood.
For the feelings that you have inside,
you consider yourself as weak.
You don’t see anyway out from here.
The future is oh so bleak.
And so the days fade away
one after the other.
Seasons pass by slowly
yet the darkness continues to smother.
You find yourself growing tired
And you feel you don’t belong.
You want it all to be over.
You’ve been fighting for so long.
The darkness has a hold on you.
One you don’t think you could break.
It pulls you deeper down into the pit
And you wonder how much more you can take.
You pine for the feeling of happiness
It’s the one feeling you miss.
You haven’t felt it for months.
You want that feeling of bliss.
Finally it hits you.
It’s time to face the truth.
You need someone else to help,
Someone to guide you through.
You open up to family
and tell them you don’t feel the same.
That you haven’t been yourself lately,
Despite what you may have claimed.
Talking about your struggle
seems to release a mighty weight.
You feel better not having to pretend
That everything about you is great.
You feel so much lighter
as the darkness slowly fades.
You can now enjoy yourself for once
without putting on a charade.
Talking to your family has helped
hold the darkness at bay.
The journey is not over yet
but you have started on your way.
Opening up about your battle
is the hardest step to take.
Once you put yourself out there though,
what a difference it will make.
I opened up earlier this year
and have not looked back at all
I feel more like my old self again,
To the darkness I’m no longer a thrall.
It was hard for me to admit it,
but once I did I felt happy.
It was strange to feel that way
after a long time of feeling ******.
So if you feel lost in the darkness
Scared and all alone.
Open up about your struggles to family.
They will help you find your way home.
This is a poem I wrote shortly after being diagnosed with depression, and many of the feelings that I experienced in my silent battle with the illness.