Tonight I'm missing us
Or the way we used to be
I miss how much you made me laugh
I miss being...happy

Tonight I'm missing you
And the smile you used to wear
You told me stories in that voice of yours
And these silences were rare

Tonight I'm missing me
Or the piece that you still have
Serves me right for giving you
The part I can't get back

Tonight I'm missing us
Or the way we used to be
Tell me, as you lie awake,
Are you missing me?

I'm afraid of failure
You know the reason why?
It always brings me back to when
I saw suspicion in your eyes
You see, that one look on your face
Really said it all
You didn't trust me, simply put
I'd never felt so small
"You can't live in fear", he said
But he didn't understand
You have the power to hurt me most
Without lifting a hand
I've craved your pride ever since
I was a little thing,
lifting up my arts and crafts
Begging you to see
As I grew, I thought good grades
Would surely make you proud
So I memorized and studied late,
I practiced good and loud
I told my friends "we are so close,
I tell them everything"
I wrote you songs, and did my best
Hoping you'd be pleased
So understand why I'm afraid
Of failure, and myself
I don't want to disappoint
And I don't want to ask for help
I'm afraid of that day when I say,
"I'm sorry" and you ask
"Who told you to say that?"
As if you weren't buying that
I'm afraid of the day when you don't
Say "I love you" when you leave
Or when you walk by so coldly
It's like you can't see me
I'm afraid of the day when my
word won't mean a thing
"Frankly, we don't trust you"
Is what you're saying, don't you see?
I'm afraid of the day I feel
Like giving up
When you look at me like all I've done
Is drained you of your love
If I was honest, I'd tell you why,
Why I am afraid
If I was honest, I'd tell you, mom
The day I feared was today

I'm afraid of failure
It grows as I do
It seems they all expect too much
And the hours are too few
If I didn't care so much
I'd save myself the pain
But then I'd see the disappointment
In their eyes, and on their face

I'm afraid of darkness
Not the moonlit kind
But the sort that rests inside your soul
And pours out from your eyes
Yes, I've been there before
When blood was an escape
When what you loved now hates you
And your smile is just a game

I'm afraid of losing
Their trust, his tender heart
If I broke them, I would break myself
Every shaking part
I'm volatile, don't touch me
I'll never let you leave
I'll hold on so tightly
Till I forget to breathe

I'm afraid of myself
The monsters in my head
They kick me when I'm on the ground
Leaving me for dead
Just when I scream, "enough, enough!
What you're saying is a lie!"
The monsters speak with the voices
Of the friends I've long stood by
So I look up, and see it's true
They point and laugh and scorn
And I ask myself, "when did the monsters
Take this human form?"