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 May 2016 Andrea Vasquez
N
toxic
 May 2016 Andrea Vasquez
N
I hope every cigarette you place between your lips knows how lucky it is to be there,
I hope every bottle you grab a hold of falls in love with the warmth of your finger tips; I know I did.
Like a toddler taking maiden steps
The narrow stream moves through the woods
Tripping and falling over pebbles and boulders
Chiming its silver anklets

Forcing itself in irrepressible flow
It thrusts and shoves its way down
Through thickets and a line of ferns
And the tangle of creepers and thorny brambles

Drowning the whisper of bamboo leaves
Its sweet murmur falls in my ears
As an eternal living melody
The cosmic song heard over eons

As the water sluices down the rocks
It becomes a frothing braided torrent
Producing a harsh grating roar
Like the crescendo of a tribal symphony

There it forms into a small pool
With its waves gently rippling
Where birds merrily come to take a dip
And sunning their feathers, fly back refreshed

Sometimes travelling unseen
It suddenly emerges into the open
Cutting its way through cracks and fissures
Never willing to surrender before hurdles

With a bearing immaculate in grace
It sends out waves of pure delight
What joy it is to watch the dilly dally
Of this sedate pilgrim moving to its destination
Everything is my fault.
Everything from the tears you shed to your foot pressing down on the acceleration.
I would give anything to let you know I truly love you and I obviously made a mistake.
My hands are shaking and my breathing is unsteady because I'm trying not to breakdown.
My mind is far from where I want it to be.
I caused you to feel this way and I can't help you.
I can't stop you, I can't love you anymore either.
Dear depression,
You've been killing me inside for eight years now
Dear depression,
You've kept me in bed because the thoughts in my head consume me and eat me alive.
Dear depression,
I've faked a smile and skipped a meal for too long.
Dear depression,
Your best friend anxiety always kicks me when I'm down and causes my heart to stop and my hands to tremble when facing my fears.
Dear depression,
You've told me I'm not pretty enough so many times, to the point where I dodge the mirror and hide behind a mask.
Dear depression,
I've tried to numb you with alcohol and drugs but it only makes it worse.
Dear depression,
I'm tired of you. I'm tired of you determining my happiness and I'm tired of you making me stay when I could've went out.
My heart aches like daggers are stabbing into it as I hear the words that cut like knives come out of your mouth 'lets just be friends' you say but you don't know how it effects me.
I blink my eyes not once but two times as I'm trying not to cry over some boy who broke my heart.
You broke my heart. You are the boy that left swords in my heart, not taking the time to take them out and help my wounds heal.
You are the boy that ignored multiple times while I tried to stay in love with you.
You are the boy that made these tears fall like pouring rain on a stormy day as I tried to make you stay
The devil sat upon his toasted grieving red throne
Gulping his tongue, the devil never stressed  
She seduced his powerful taste
He knew she was a lost soul, out of control  
She was a walking mess, who was taking her toll
He had no business taking a hit to his statured entitlement  
He promised to distinguish her from the rest, implicating a battle every dawning blue sky
His threats do not scare her passion to fight
She's a rampage with braided hair and an innocent glare
Zip up your sweater vest, here comes Hells pest
Beat
The sound of the heart
Beat
The steady drum that determines the time and rhythm of our life
Beat
This heart is a token of our life that we all possess
Beat
It sends life blood, shooting through arteries and streaming inside our veins
This persistent *beat
beat beat
determines whether we live or are considered dead
If we are all moved by this immensely powerful *****
That beats for life
love
hope
and what could be,
Why do we insist on treating one another less than our equal
This hearts that beats cries for what we all want acceptance and love...
If we want to initiate change we need to have a discussion
But after feeling pride that we CAN recognize that there needs to be change and doing nothing for the injustices we see
We need to decide how much of our heart are we willing to give to another
to make this change happen
We will find that we cannot give what we do not have, and in order to have, we must give away

*Beat
We are all here... and we are all born with the inalienable right to be loved, and to love. It is our choices that take away the freedom of others and ourselves. We must make choices that benefit, more than just ourselves, but ones that help other people be their most capable and confident.
We need to love
he tasted of whiskey,
each kiss got me buzzed.
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