Do I disgust you? Do I repulse you
is my fashion sense really that vile?
Am I too ******, do you feel queasy
when I flash my sabre-tooth smile?

Am I too black? Or maybe too white?
Do my exquisite tastes blind your eyes?
Am I too sultry, is my bare-faced adultery
the very thing that you despise?

I am a king, I am a queen;
my greed grows from below to above -
my alacrity I stretch, to hear people retch,
I am a commander of one and the origin of love,

Yes I'm an exponential craze, I live to amaze
entering blistering gunfights blind -
so disgracefully *****, reaching the ripe age of thirty
and I've already left my thousand sins behind,

So do I still disgust you, still repulse you
with my repugnant smile?

Yes I can be ******, make you feel queasy,
but trust me it'll all be worthwhile.

There are planes up there
They are soaring against electric blue

They are made of such wonder

Yet all I can think is how lovely life is
Down here on the ground, with you.

My heart longs for you
My lips miss your taste
My soul aches for you

I gaze upon your face
I try not to stare
But your beauty entrances me

Your touch
Your laugh
Your eyes

I miss you
I want you

You will never be mine

When people ask about you and I reply "He's good; We're good." I wonder if they know that what I really want to say is that yesterday we drove through a closed amusement park making plans of which rides we'll go on in the summer. Or that we drove home with the music so loud that  it was as if it was trying to drown the thought of you out of my head but failing song after song. Or that we stopped at a McDonald's in a small town and gazed out the big windows together while we waited for our food, discussing where we each dream of living in the future, but why our dreams seem so unattainable. Or that our first date was to the place we first met at our elementary school playground, and you kissed me, relieving my childhood dream. Or that as we walked uptown we discussed how silly and hard it will be to teach a baby how to drink without back washing into a water bottle. Or that we fell so hard for each other that despite our constant words of "we're just friends" we ended up naked under the covers one night, twice. And that we made two our magic number. Or when we walked uptown and sat in a little coffee shop sipping on our latte and hot chocolate as you wrote about us in a dream journal on the counter. Or when we spent a day after school doing nothing but heating up cookies, dancing in your kitchen, and sliding across your wood floor in our socks, seeing who could go farther. I wonder if they know that every time they say your name I am reminded of how thankful I am to have you in my life. Or that every time I see you smile or laugh I am reminded of what being in heaven forever will really be like. I wonder if they know that I'm falling for you so hard, and so fast, and not holding myself back at all.

I'm not sure how many poems I'm going to write about him, or how many songs I'm going to dedicate to him, or how many hours I'm going to spend thinking of him, before I fall in love with him. But that is one day I am looking forward too.

Stain my lips with your kiss, like the orange and yellows stain the morning sky to clear the way for the sun. I want to taste you now and I want to taste you later. Don't be greedy with your love, sharing is caring, and I would love to be included if you are giving. I want to roll over in the morning half asleep and explore every part of your mouth. And I want to rollover in the late night, wide awake, and explore every part of your mind. You are an incredible, independent, and intricate boy and I don't plan on taking advantage of that ever. I want you at all times of the day and I want you over everyone else. For you see, if my mind must be filled with thoughts of something, I am begging for it to be the thought of you. And even if something else feels it stands a chance, they can shy away as they watch the thought of you fill every single part of my mind, places I didn't even know existed. You fill me up and make me think and feel alive. And I wouldn't trade this for the world.

He found me in places I never even realized I was lost in.