If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

afraid to let you know
the feelings that I couldn't show
scared to know what will follow
"nevermind", I said it's not too deep but shallow

not wanting our friendship to be over
I hope it fades away please faster
going with the flow is the answer
not letting him notice is better

so I decided to hide
these feelings I kept inside
they say "confess", I abide
thoughts inside my head I can't decide

I want to write.
I want to write the things that my mind can't speak
the words that I can't directly say
the feelings that I can't express

I want to sleep.
I want to sleep for the rest of my life
and wake up beside you
with a smile on my face
sleeping sometimes helps

I want to cry.
I want to cry and let my feelings out
instead of me being silent
but deep inside crashing

I want to confess.
I want to confess everything to someone
Confess that I love them and I'm thankful that they've been a part of my life
but things just holds me back to let go
because I'm such a potato
I want to confess how much I like you
that you've been my crush
but pride is eating me
I don't want to look desperate

I want to be alone.
I want to hear the sound of silence.
I want the touch of the air against my skin.
All alone in a room where my mind is wandering
Alone not lonely,
but alone contemplating.

I want to unlove you.**
But how?