rejection is such a common fear in our society. we prepare ourselves for the worst and hope for the best only to learn that sometimes the best times are found in those worst of times. we've grown up in this world that teaches us that it's better to leave words unspoken and risks not taken than to reach for our dreams. they seem as attainable as the stars but my creator is the maker of those very stars. i am not accepted by this world and that's okay because maybe i just don't want to live an "exceptional" life. i am accepted by the only one who is acceptable and that's something i can accept.

& i dont mean physically
you turned your mind off to me
you shut down & backed out
i was staring at the corpse
of the girl that once laughed
she could breathe life into the room
but now youre a walking tombstone
with the words
i rest in pieces
carved haphazardly into the front
now the only peace of mind i have
is that it wasnt me who killed you
it was your own heart
racing faster than a freight train
& when it beats out of your chest
maybe ill see the real you
soaked in blood
& charging for the exit
not unlike the last time we spoke
i swear you threw the door off its hinges
like you ripped our pages
out of the book
& used them to wrap your cigarettes
breathing in our words
like tobacco
feeding off our feelings
like nicotine
you smoked yourself into a stupor
& wiped your mind clean
of any thought of me

[holyoak]

such a sweet tinkling
to bring such ugly words
you are an animal
you are a monster
you are right
i never deserved you

i was
a prisoner
caged in my own mind
dragged down by the chains
in my words
throwing myself at a world
that didn't take me in
you set me
free
and i still wore those shackles
around my feet
like my favorite pair of shoes
but
your grace kept me
my debt
was paid
i am no longer defined
by my shame
my insecurities can't pull me
down
keep me above the waves
that crash around me
i'll keep calling
your name

How we can be born from love
And filled with such hate
I shall never know

I have learned
Over the years
Is that demons are real
Just not where you think they are

I've found some
Oh yes
I truly have
They're more terrible than your wildest dreams

Where did I find them?
Why the answer is simple
I found them inside of me
For the demons we fear
Are inside us
And they come out to play
When we're afriad

It's a funny thing how
feelings can fade away
without a warning.

Just like your love
for me vanished within
the heat of my pride
Evaporating within
the tense atmosphere of
our own screams.

All because my lips
trembled as the words
crawled out of their
hidden crevices
*all too soon, all too soon