Why is it
That the biggest hearts
Are emptied the fastest?

And the brightest souls
Are blackened
The quickest?

i like that my bloodlines
run like your bloodlines
like the salty sea spray
you exhale when you
dream at night

i haven't been able to write lately
haven't been able to place my finger on a single, fleeting emotion
before it is whisked away into nothingness
the vocabulary within me is surely going to waste
as i grasp at straws in attempts to make them grow into beanstalks
these days, i'm not sure if i'm happy or sad,
but the uncertainty is enough to keep me busy for now
i'd rather not know one side more than the other,
but what i do want to be sure of is how you feel about me
i can be the goddess of the sun of your tantalizing universe
or i can be but a speck of dust leftover in a dark recess of your mind
and you can be either of those to me,
but in the end, i'll always prefer warmth over isolation

I've seen a better part
Of overwhelming emotion
It's strange
An ebb and flow
Of apathy and actually
Living
Feeling an emotion
Feeling a feeling
Feel
When your body
Is alive
And your mind is trying
To let it slide
Behind
I am fine
I am
Life is beautiful

i had hoped that by this time i
would not be scared of you or
the way cups look nestled in
your hands or the rumbling
down deep when you flash
me that grin, but i feel like i
am sinking
      sinking
      stuck to someone else's
fingertips, even after all this
time. i thought that i would
be able to give you more but
there is nothing left in me for
anyone else. i have scraped
down to raw tissue and tendons,
and i'm sure that if you opened
me up you would see the scratch
marks from where i have been
trying to find even flakes to
give to you. i'm so sorry that by
the time you came along all the
parts of me worth having were
gone.

1. Perhaps you should reconsider wearing your heart on your sleeves- it is not an accessory. You are allowed though, to hide other things in its place.

2. Some were in it just for a good catch. You could let a heart slide out their hands like a dying fish, but never know if a tendon ever broke.

3. Do not use the term: bull's eye. You never could stand loud noises. You were more of a hunter, than a guns man, surviving on whatever spoils that crosses your path. Please do note though, that one man's meat may be another man's poison. Don't just stomach whatever you find.

4. But then again, a single bullet is all it takes to **** a person. I guess you liked it when these bullet fragments clung onto your insides like a barb, as if you were a lethal weapon to begin with.

5. Are you sure you want to investigate crime scenes? You might find his fingerprints everywhere.

6. Do not look for company. Misery loves company.

7. You are not a gemmologist; people aren't diamonds. Don't treat them like one if you are only going to end up looking for faults within them.

8. Never fall just because someone offered to catch you. You are not going to like the way he touches you. His hands will feel like a million ant bites digging tunnels under your skin; and you might just tear your veins apart by mistake. You will think you jumped into a flower bed but all you can mutter will be “rose with thorns rose with thorns” all over again.

9. When you find yourself taken aback by what you see in the mirror, do not shut the windows to your soul. They said to love yourself, but you can’t love something as hollow as those eyes- there is nothing to fall for. Pick yourself up before someone falls off the windowsill again. How long has it been since you washed these curtains? These cobwebs spelt out really bad memories that you do not have to be reminded of.

10. Do not try to play god. You can’t immortalize. You do not have that big of a hand to hold on to everything that ever passed by. Don’t tire yourself out and tear yourself apart. There are many things that you can hold and break. And if you are going to hold someone’s breath, don’t let go because they might never breathe the same again; the feeling of shards in your lungs should still be as vivid as the road signs that read “U-turn” before unfulfilled promises crashed down on you.

11. Do not take him as another one of your proses. He is not made up of words. He is a person. Remember that.

12. If you love what he loves, you will never love those things the same again when he leaves.

13. Get your feelings clear and save both parties the agony. It should not satisfy you to watch him **** himself while he lights you on fire; these stringers that says “be like drugs, let him die for you.” is just another bunch of filthy decoration.

14. Never. I repeat, NEVER see someone else in him. Never take him as a replacement.

15. Clench your fists till your knuckles turn white and your palms sweat out. Pick up these sands desperately as you might. Never stay with someone you never really wanted to be with.

If it were up to me,
I'd be more than a composer..
I'd be a musical conductor,
The night stars would be an orchestra
To us all.

If it were up to me,
I'd be less of a coward,
I'd be someone you'd be proud of,
I'd write a poem so beautiful that the world might just change...

But it's hard to feel this hope all alone..
It's hard to turn the waves from our home
its hard to turn my thoughts, into poems
And it's hard to be in love, on my own
Would you let me give you all the flowers I have grown?

Could I show you all the magic I've been shown?

If it were up to me,
I'd be on my way now
I'd be a busker by the bay now
I'd be a writer, still falling hard

If it were up to me,
I'd be less of a student, and more a teacher..
I'd be a doer, not a dreamer
I'd be iconic without needing a broken heart...

Oh it's hard to hear stories, from those around
It's hard to hear that everyone's, been knocked down..
It's hard to promise that things, could still look up..

See it's hard to give up,
When all I want is to be a Giver...

A giver of hope, songs and love.