I don't know what to write anymore.
But I can't stop thinking about flickers of your lips
and splatters of your touch.
When the rain pours just for you.
Something has to flow.
When water runs over your shoulders and down the drain
like the wisdom of the world.

In the brevity of your light I stole a slice of the sun for my own.
Lying deep inside a dormant orbit.

As the rain begins to weigh you down like the gravity of Jupiter.
My light, my love will be all yours.

Lay with me and tonight we'll steal the moon once more.

You were the sun, I was a flower
I looked up to you to learn, you set me free to bud
You kept me warm through windy spring nights
You taught me to grow through golden leaves falling
After storms, you crept from behind the clouds to help me dry
When snow fell, I was buried beneath the ice and you brought me back again
But once the summer came, you blazed so bright I couldn’t see

The sweltering sun, my sweet sun
I took your light, your love, and I blossomed
Then I grew, only to realize you would always be far up there
I took too much and waited, wilted and grey in the end.

I let him hold my heart in his hands
Hoping he would be gentle

I prayed he wouldn't leave me
Like the others before him

He was promising
His hands sheltered my beating muscle

His fingers were a ribcage
Palms - a protective skin

But the commitment wasn't enough
And he dropped my ****** vessels

He stole the pericardium away
And left me with an infection

He dangled his theft in front of me
He watched me try to mask the pain

Knowing he took the protective layer away

Just when I thought I packed all of you away
Tucked safe in the corner of my closet

I found your sweatshirt hanging
Amongst my own

The heavy gray one
You wore when you told me you loved me

It still smells like you
Somehow, everything I own smells like you

I washed my sheets
But the scent of your skin lingers

I’m starting to think
My own skin took on the scent of you

I.
My body was made for man’s consumption
For his fondling and pleasure

I am just a moment of bliss
To then be disposed of

My father imparted this to me
When I was young

He locked my ******* cage
He taught me to keep my mouth shut

II.
******* is the only way it works
You strip and love even while it hurts

My first time bestowed this knowledge to me
He got what he wanted and told me to leave

He never apologized
Or made his confession

He blamed it on hormones and loves that didn’t last
But I knew that I could be thrown away – a piece of trash

III.
Men stay for what they’ve always wanted
A body to be used and teased

My second love displayed this to me
And for once, I gave myself freely

I loved him whole-heartedly
He stuck around for good company

He spoke of his reasoning face-to-face
Before becoming a coward and running away

I’ve worn your shirt for two days
I can't bring myself to take it off

It carries your scent
Reminding me of long nights tangled up with you

You hated the way the fabric clung to your body
Yet I loved how it hugged your broad shoulders

You loved to see it on me
And adored how the hem reached my knees

We exchanged that shirt
Back and forth, and back and forth

On your back during the day
And wrapped around my body at night

Enveloped in your bare arms and chest, asleep
With your shirt as my nightwear

Now, I sleep alone

But I continue to spend lazy days and sleepless nights
In your red t-shirt

I can feel the pressure
of 30,000 leagues
before I see you.

Crushing bones and spirit.
With omnipotent force.