Evert night at 2 AM Different poems are written Different words are scribbled Different papers are crumpled But only one thought she had Yet, word can't help her convey the feelings "Empty" has much more than herself "Sad" is not sadder than she thought "Broken" is more whole than her "Hurting" ain't just bleeding just like her And when words can't take the role It's the blade that play with her Every cuts has meaning Everything is her unreleased feeling
Sometimes, words are not enough to tell what we really feel and most words doesn't fit to the emotions we are holding.
Step 1: Get out of bed Step 2: Look in the mirror Step 3: Practice your smile Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes Step 5: Conceal the dark circles Step 6: Breathe The curtains are almost up Step 7: Lock down the pain Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind Step 10: Choke down the sobs Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat You’ve put on this show a million times Step 13: Don’t let them see Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
Because it’s not terminal, And statistically curable, Do I have the right to say I survived?
When it’s all said and done, And the battle is fought and won, Will I deserve to be crowned victor If the trophy was handed to me Before it had all even begun?
Did I suffer enough to deserve this?
Written the day I was diagnosed with cancer, May 22nd 2017.
Write Simple, I tell myself, Write Poetic, I force myself, Write Beauty, I convince myself, Write Imagery, I encourage myself, Write with purpose, I plead myself.