Please forgive the lies.
Those lies you realized were real lies in your eyes, that look at my eyes that cries.
Please forgive my tick, my tick that flicks when you click my impatience.
Please try to forgive the tears I cried, my hands tied down to the chair of my stupidness.
Forgive me for the different masks I've worn because I was born with a face torn..
Please, forgive me for looking at that mirror
Glaring
Staring
Preparing, to attack and smack
Break this make-up of me and off my face.
Forgive those scars across my heart that left marks on my inner wrists, forgive my fists that ball,
hit walls and doors to settle the score between love and hate.
Please forgive me for wasting your time, I'm fine. That line, like the line you wait behind dozens of people who I've said that to.. please forgive me when you tell me "I'm beautiful" because the thought of me possibly, being pretty, is new to me.
Forgive me when I say I'm lonely or feeling alone because I only have myself in my mind
and behind the door of thoughts are secrets kept, sept underneath the rug if uncertainty.
Insecurities, get the best of me,
Forgive my darkness
Forgive my awkwardness
Forgive my serial killer mentality, hunting down, killing off my confidence and any compliments I receive.
I enjoy bringing myself to low points
And at this point, I need a new point. A hight point. And the distance between my low point and my high point is a long line of self awareness and weakness.
I digress, my progress is better, my confidence is higher, I guess..
You'll be impressed with what you don't know,
What you should know,
But what I don't show.
My confusing image of myself
"Love thy self"
Lord please forgive me for I have sinned.
Trying to die earlier than intended is a sin.
Trying to force pain amongst my body is a sin.
Please forgive my dark thoughts, my depressed ways.
Forgive those who attempt the same attempts  i attempt.
Forgive those who drag themselves to the ground, buried underground with tomb stones above their heads.
Forgive the knives they used to bleed out their tears and sadness.
Forgive the pills that sit in the stomach of the people lying on the bathroom floor unaware of their scared mothers faces.
Forgive the flowers you place in front of their grave of hopefulness buried with terrible self consciousness.
Please forgive me when I say, please don't delay, but I really can't stay..

In the long afternoons
when I'm just alone,
at my place, with no one but my soul;
I think hard to answer stuff,
stuff that are useless to be told.

In the long afternoons,
that are dimmer than of the dusk.
But I'm active then and I just suspect my luck.
For something strange that happens to me,
It leaves me alone with a shock.

In the long afternoons,
for the useless things I think,
apocalypse, fame and my thoughts that link
to an outer world unknown to everyone.
Rainbow sheep and how the world shall sink.

In the long afternoons,
for the tragedic songs I sing.
The sighs I swear like the death of a king.
I daydream about stupid li'l things
but it's you that I think more about, and that thought's not leaving.

Do not let anyone destroy your imagination

Also if you are alone

The world you create in your mind

Is the world which will never leave

Only if you wish to

Go and find yourself in the sky
Where blue covers your eyes
And shadows never show
You follow your heart to a better place
And you just forgot to take your tears with you
You left them by coincidence in your past
Because once someone told you:
Never to be afraid and keep going on
Although it is hard
Sad people will be around you
And make you sad
Although you do not have to be sad
Surround yourself with warm air
And your heart will never freeze again

I see you as the devil with others.

But with me you are an angel and I am save in your arms.

I could never see you in a different way.

You may be cruel.

But your cruelty  is for a reason.

So is your good heart still beating.

And very well protected.

C.M.

You woke me from a deep slumber,
And I've been awake ever since.