1 a.m. and I'm in
2 deep because it's
3 strike outs and
4 the first time it's
5 times harder than I ever expected when

1 time it all seemed
2 good to be true hearing those
3 words that were
4 me and only me but
5 thousand times apparently loses luster, still I miss the

1 love that brought us
2 gether for those long
3 years going strong
4 each other but
5 months was much too long to wait without

1 last chance
2 make everything
3 hundred times better than ever be-
4 I now would have to drive
5 hours just to look you in the eyes instead of
6 minutes through the old neighborhood to
7 Valleywood Drive where we
8 tortellini in the rain and by
9 p.m. each night we've already forgot-
10 the demons of the day in each others arms

when our bones crumble and turn to dust,
as we both know is inevitable,
will we be remembered?

When my smile fades,
or becomes a facade,
will you notice?

I've been wondering for some time now how easy it is to let people leave your memories,
I know that I've always struggled with it.

I know that optimism would say that it's difficult,
pessimism would say it's as easy as breathing,
but what about the realistic part of the mind?
Is it actually easy?
I put effort and energy into make people fade into the past,
do you do the same?

If only You could wipe my tears as I’m weeping
or hold me as my heart is breaking
but instead You’re a voice I can’t see,
words on a page I can read but not touch,
I don’t feel Your hands on my own
or see Your eyes because you won’t show
your face and when Your Spirit moves about,
I can’t feel the breeze, so I doubt
Your love because You aren’t showing up-
The pain is so real and You're not close enough.

So happy
Yet secretly so dark

So loved
but yet she hates herself

Shes like every one else
But yet so different