i dId handstands until my knees Were purple but It stilL wasn't enough for you. no matter what i did i could not make you stay. i wanted you to Love me so ******* bAdly i really really did but my mother told me to never make another human being my worLd, so i am sending you aWay with the wind And the sea. goodbYe, i am so Sorry i couldn't fit your perfect Little mold. i tried, gOd i tried. i know my hair is Very messy and i have little purplE scars up my arms and im sorry they were things You found beautiful until you didn’t. its you, its always been you, and i am so afraid that it's always going to be you. sO this is goodbye, even thoUgh your name will always be etched into my ribcage and the smell of coffee will always bring me back to mornings in your arms.

My buddy Todd set us up.
Her name, I knew her name:
Isabel Fienne.
I met her outside of Byron's,
drinking a 40 out of a brown bag.
She wore black, black spaghetti strap,
black Memphis skirt, black stockings.
I told her I liked the color of her eyes.
She said her dad just died.
And asked me, "What was your name again?"
I asked her, "How about a little of that drink?"
We spent the night throwing rocks at passing cars,
dodging police, and talking about how
we liked the anonymity of night.

We woke up in an alley.

I whispered the word stockings.
She bit my lip.
We get married the first of June.

EVERY TIME YOU KISS ME AND YOUR MOUTH TASTES LIKE ALCOHOL I DIE A LITTLE INSIDE. ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE MY FATHER USED TO TELL ME HE LOVED ME AND HIS BREATH SMELLED EXACTLY LIKE YOURS. LIKE A MIXTURE OF I MISS YOU AND I HATE YOU AND WHY THE **** ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US