I'm scrambling trying to find the pieces
And I would like to say a few things
1)  I'm sorry
I start to see the fear of what made me
What made me will break me
I carry this familiarity like a knife to my skin
And I'm scrambling to fill the bleeding holes with the very things that Caused them to bleed
I am thoroughly convinced I could destroy an entire city with my hands
Which brings me to point two
2) Don't take it personally if I stay three steps away when you come close
I'm a ticking tomb in a building that starts to burn when I crumble
My mind is the building
Every story
Every window
A part of the person I used to be
3) I don't want to die
I still can't figure out if the building is the people I love
Or if it's myself
But It  burns just the same
I don't want to die

I read your favorite poem today.
It sounded like the first time you read it to me.
The words on the page flew into my mind;
I watched us slow dance together.

We swayed and spun from line to line,
And as I reached the end, I saw your face.
I looked into your eyes and realized
I miss you more than I thought.

It’s a different feeling nowadays
Than when I stood still and watched you drive away,
But that empty feeling still taps me on the shoulder
As I read the first line again.

Why do our heart crave for pain?
In disguise of our so called desire,
How come we do not see the shallow gains?
Before given it out for hire.

Why do we not see that love?
Till we let it go forever,
Then finally turning the emotions off
Because we noticed coming back was never.

Why do we even sit and cry?
Believing this tears is our earthly consoler,
Instead of getting up to try,
Before our heart deeply get sober.

Why do we blame others for our mistake?
Even though we know that we are not better,
Attitude are like heavenly stake,
Which everybody has in their shelter.

Why do we curse and fight each other?
Even though life is in a uniform color (blood)
The prime aim was to care for one another,
But we choose to focus on just the color (skin)

Why is the heart filled with hatred?
Even with it tender structure and composure,
Evil everywhere, this was meant to be sacred.
But now the major factor is it exposure.

Why do you read enough of this?
And still hurt that person in closure,
Aren’t we suppose to live in peace?
And let our lives in each other’s hand be secure.

Why do I take time to write this piece?
Thinking am different from the picture,
Saint are born for earthly peace,
Tag me as one of these creature.

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!
Big, Biggest Love,
        Jeff Gaines

She can’t let go
Of the one that makes her sad
Because he used to be
The only one making her happy

Letting go of him
Seems impossible
It will be one of the hardest things
She could ever think to do

What’s truely harder though
Is holding on to him
When deep down she knows
He will never love her back

Goodbyes always hurt the most
When the book is closed
Before she had a chance
To read the final chapter