So many have loved me,
yet so many have stopped -

I was their dream,
until I was not.

In the midst of the darkest nights,
waking up, tearing the blanket apart
of weariness of the sleepless nights
and sadness for my bleeding heart.
I hear you in my dreams, yet
in reality you are silent.
I try to remember but I forget.
Have you met me there or haven’t?
You’ve had so many chances,
never dared to and never kissed.
And I can’t stop giving you chances
because without you I can’t exist.
   I tried so hard to let you go,
   yet, again I come and say “Hello!”

there aren't any cliches about being broken left for me to spill onto this screen without leaving traces of my blood hidden in each meaning that's been studied over and over and over again

i don't want to think about how little or much you sleep or how much caffeine you drink to wake those tired eyes up because i know caffeine can't help and love can't work to distract a mind so full of distractions already

when it's two am or i'm drunk i think i miss you the most because it's only then i realise how alone i am and how perfectly my head fit on your bare shoulder but maybe the lesson that needs to be learned is that i'm stronger than the pain of missing you and you're lost in the emptiness of not desiring me

i wish i could send telepathic pumps of electric waves fuelled by the thoughts in my brain to your heart so that for a moment you could wake into a coma of happiness but if it were up to me you'd be asleep forever and i'd never want to pull the plug

maybe happiness really only does last in the moments when we least expect them but all i know is that somewhere in-between my hundreds of bruises and your thousands of insecurities i got lost in the cliche of a rose world and i was never read to give that up and i never want to let that go

tell me  you'll stay, even if it's only for another few seconds of this dream

I was strong, I was brave,
I did not took myself to the grave.
I gave all I had to make it work,
Turned out only to be clockwork.

I loved and admired, yet
I died again after sunset.
Poison was killing me slowly,
The poison that was you.

Strolling in the dark freezing night
on streets frozen and crushed,
we talked under the moonlight
and cracked jokes all the time.
I sensed an awakening inside
like the Devil was rapturing my mind.
It was pleasing, sensible, yet
I knew - it was an ugly lie.
I love another, I well remember,
but I can’t stop staring,
staring at those deep brown eyes...

Tonight I lie in bed,
waiting for what I dread;
Tonight I spit on my luck,
and the lightning that got me struck;
Tonight I exist in darkness,
for I want to dwell in endless;
Tonight I again wait,
wait to be the devil's bait.