My tears may drown me.
For I am the rain.

My thoughts may cover me.
For I am the clouds.

My mind may confuse me.
For I am the wind.

My anger might consume me.
For I am the storm.

It's getting colder.
darker days are brewing and my mind is about to explode.
Everyday I try to fight this monster.
Something...nay, someone I never wanter to become.

It's getting darker. Im furious.
Not at you, nor her. But myself.
Everyone is a monster to someone.
But you're not convinced I am that monster.

How? Look at what I destroyed.
This isn't fair on you.
This isn't what I wanted.
Im sorry for the trouble.

Im sorry I am burning bridges I built.
I have become death. The destroyer of worlds.
You should hate me for what Im doing.
I know I would.

We are all monsters to someone.
But by refusing to be yours, I have to become my own.
I am my own monster.
I lost myself in this war.

A war I never thought I would fight.
It was never about winning or losing.
As there is still no answer.
But this is about the outcome.

Who we are after this fight.
Can I live with it?
Can I go on with what I did?
I am able to move past this.

But I've hurt you. Ive destroyed you.
Im not pure. Im sorry.
All I can do is apologise.
I have become what I have been fighting this past year.

I am my own monster.
I don't have fangs,
I don't have claws.
I just don't feel the way you do.

I am trying hard you know;
To avoid conversation.
Had you been boring...or dumb
Things would be much easier.

If this was only the cravings of the flesh.
Things would just be dealt with once we meet.
I am trying hard...trust me I am.
And I don't want to break the silence.

Because I know how much you want this wall.
But what about that conversation we didn't finish?
What about your likes and dislikes?
Tell me all about them!!

I want to know a lot more.
But you're much stronger then I am.
And youre doing the right thing.
Im the weak one here.

I never thought, i would crave a simple hello this much.
I appreciate the distance. And I understand it.
But...It ain't easy.
I hope i can resist.

Tonight i walked among waves and stars.
Tonight i noticed sounds that i take for granted.
Did you know waves speak?
Did you know stars express?

There is a green light that flashes in a Gatsby manner.
Under a red bridge that has seen a war.
Theres a small stone where you can rest upon,
And hear all the tales of the ocean.

The wave that brushes the sea floor is the same wave that brought Napoleon to our shores.
Do you ever think of how old a wave is?
Where it came from? How far it travelled?

What about its sound?
If the sea reflects the skies above.
Does that mean the sounds of waves are mimicked by something else?
One can only winder and think.

But tonight. Ill sit alone.
Creating new poems about the silence of the stars.
Finding myself. Feeding the wind.
Listening to the ocean.

A boy got chased by wolves
and got lost in a forest.
He knew of all the dangers that would arise.
He was aware.

The trees created clouds of leaves.
No light pierced through. Nothing.
He couldn't see.
But he could hear.

He heard a sparrows chirp.
And though he know not where she might take him.
He blindly followed her.
All she needed to do was chirp.

She led him out of the forest.
Out to safety. But it was nightfall.
It was still dark and dangerous.
And night brings fowler things then wolves.

It brought creatures from the deep.
The sparrow sat on the boys shoulder as they walked.
They walked alone until they came to a river.
They were afraid of what lies in the deep.

A fair tale was heard from quite a distance.
A ballad of a Robin and the Star of the Sea.
A siren was recalling.
Telling the tale while gently splitting the waves with her fair scales.

She approached the boy and his sparrow and she explained the story. But they got lost in conversation.
For you see, the sparrow knew that the conversation would create safety.
And that conversation would protect him from the night.

The Sparrow and the boy need not fear what may come.
Yet embrace it. Adapt to it.
Let happen what is to be done.
Let the story write itself.


The Ballad of a Robin and the Star of the Sea.

'Oh a Robin he gazed upon a star one night, a star that shined the brightest light. Wishing shed fall and fly with him. Each night he sang her to sleep.  Until one day she escaped the sky and the Robin chased her and flew after her. But the star fell and sank in the River Grace. Yet the star still shined brighter, even brighter then before and the Robin still gazed upon this star, a star now reflecting the waves of the deep. Now the Robin noticed that the star was now closer then before, therefore the acted upon it. Some say the Robin swam to the star and managed to reach her, and stayed down there with her. Others recall the tale of how one ray would fall directly on the Robins red chest and he'd sing to her and the star would echo the song all across the river. Some creatures recall hearing it..."

To understand is a gift.
Understanding a situation,
Knowing what you must do.
Feeling what's around you.

But Hells fire is made of passion.
Thunder is made of pounding hearts.
Lightning is created when they collide.
And that's when understanding shifts.

I understand its wrong. Chaotic even. Destructive? But what can you do?
Can others make the choice for us?
Why can't we let go?

To be romantic is to promise spontaneity.
Candles and stars, moons and waves.
To be adventurous is to accept change.
Likes and dislikes, new hobbies and passions.

Lets the sparrow fly freely.
Let the sailor follow her.
Let the siren sing melodies.
Let the sailor join in song.