I feel like my heart is breaking more than it ever has
And I'm afraid somehow I'll forget you
And I won't be able to fix it
And I don't know how to fix this
I was so foolish
But I don't want a do over
Because then it will really be over
Or it won't have ever started
Is it really better to have loved and lost
How many breaks can a heart take
Shattering shouldn't be a repeatable phenomenon
But with you it is
Everything with you destroys me
I am utterly demolished
And it is so lovely to be wrecked by you
I just hope you never stop bringing me pain
Because the day I stop hurting
Will be the day I know I've died

*******
*******
*******
Or **** me

******* **** me like my depression does
I'm already your ***** so what does it matter
Pass me off to your friends
What fun is it anyway unless you can share

Everything feels like a **** ****
You're lines are too rehearsed
My face is painted on so heavily
So heavy
My face literally falls to the floor
Though that's a win isn't it
You only keep me for my assets
Great ***
Bottoms up

**** me

**** my personality, it's ******* up anyway
**** with my head
Hands in my hair
Rip out fistfuls
Gag me
That way I can't ruin it with words
Or whatever

*******
*******
*******
**** me

I can't see straight
I can't think straight
I can't breathe
I'm so far into the mattress
I wonder if it's kink is choking
I can't breathe
I think I'm crying
I don't how long we've been here
I can't breathe
I- everything is numb
I stopped noticing my pulse
I can't breathe
I could be dying
I'm probably dying
I can't breathe

At least one of us had a good time

******* for ******* me

What's always caused me dread
Is the empty half of the bed
Long days turn to longer nights
When I'm alone putting out the lights
I have been greedy since my first taste
Of sharing with another that sacred space
Afterwards as I've lain
It's not been the same
My laughter is gone
My smiles all wrong
And your arms were the pinnacle
Your absence has me near cynical
Sometimes I feel as though I am dead
Reaching out to the empty half of the bed

Everything I do makes someone cry
I just want someone to be my 2am friend again
So that when I am sad and broken and cold
Someone will wrap me up and make me feel less lonely

The girl who pours her heart out yet keeps it locked is such a peculiar contradiction
No one must see her sorrow
Though she gives away every last ounce of joy
Hoping to fix the holes in other shattered smiles

But when all that you leave yourself with is your sorrow
It's hard to smile when you're alone
You can never recharge if you repeatedly drain your battery to negative one

The girl who is empty from giving but refuses to receive
She will have a hard time indeed
Leaving her heart open
And wearing it on her sleeve

nothing bites into my bones the same as your eyes each time I have to say goodbye because **** if my shriveled black little heart doesn't ache at your brilliant heart of gold muffled and dulled by the miles and time zones I lay awake every night hoping for five minutes of just us I lay awake every night so that I might get the first of you when you wake up I am desperate and greedy and for you always needy because you are the light in my life I hope you stay lit I need you to pull through this because if you don't then I die with you no matter what's next with you I'm alive if there's no you then I won't try I can't try you are mine and I am yours you are my only and I am your always and nothing will change how you saved me from normalcy and fallacy and the **** cowardly life I was determined to lead I gave up on everyone and especially myself I let them break me before I got to you and if I had known you were waiting then I'd have waited always and forever for you too but it's my turn to and I'll wait wait wait ten thousand days if I have to just please come back because that can't be the end I can't handle the loss or I'll be buried with my dead but for now I will wait forever and always for you because I didn't when you first needed me to