Alex - Hello Poetry

Alex Jul 2017

Heightening blood pressure
Thoughts racing through my head
I urgently run down the hallway
Burst into the bathroom
To clear my mind and stop the reddening of my cheeks
Go outside get some air
All that matters is getting out

#anxiety #pain #bullying

Jul 2017

Shelby Jencyn

Aftermath

My home used to have a heartbeat;
it pulled me tightly to its chest.
My home smelled like smoke,
smoke and vanilla and earth.
I roll over in my bed, reaching.
I'm always reaching for something.
Only a balled up comforter and sheets,
they should've been washed yesterday.
I keep thinking I'll reach and feel home,
there will be warmth on the bed again--
gentle breathing to sing me to sleep.

Sleep became futile,
my arms made of lead.
Pinning me to the cold,
this residence is not my home.
I plead for my arms to rest,
but my fingertips keep stretching;
as if they could stretch into the past
and pull my home from the rubble.
The remnants of a lost foundation;
if my fingertips could mend.
My home was left behind in the wake.

#him #left

Alex Jul 2017

Lose my Self Control

I just want to let it all go. I'm done playing it safe. Free falling sounds like my next move. Cutting, vomiting, suicide. It's all becoming one, no boundaries from one to the next.
I hear others laughing and only cringe. Jealousy overtakes me. I can't remember what truly laughing feels like, what a real smile on my lips tastes like. What is happiness? Even just being okay sounds good at this point. Jealousy shoots through my veins as I think about the girls who don't take the blade to their skin, the girls who don't feel the need to starve themselves or ***** after eating, the girls who don't feel that death is their only option.
Being to this point where I don't care anymore is kind of nice, though. No more tears, no more emotions. Just the cold blade against my exposed skin.
People say I am getting out of hand. That's not true. It's just I don't care anymore. This world and the things inside of it mean nothing to me. By summer, I will be skinny. But keeping my grades up gets harder each week. I don't know how much longer I can hold up, staying in this world. The pain is so great.
But I keep forgetting that I don't care. I'm done here. Who needs life anyway? Who needs me? Death is the final option. My final option.

*trigger warning*

#rambling #suicide #eatingdisorders #pain #cutting #alone

Alex Jul 2017

Dying

Is it going six feet under the earth we walk on?
Or is it flying above it all?
I will soon find out as I must go.
I think about it everyday.
So I undress inside the closed bathroom.
I am prepared to taste death.
Today, I will.

*trigger warning*

#death #suicide #pain

Jul 2017

MeanAileen

Beneath the surface

I'm not even sure who I am anymore...
I've become but a shell of myself, before.

And my eyes, once happy, look hollow and cold,
with a empty sadness that can't be consoled.

As loneliness grows, festering inside-
the hurt becomes much harder to hide.

Darkness has taken control of my heart...
quietly and completely, I'm falling apart.

Gathering shards of my broken soul,
I quickly forget what it is to be whole.

Life has lost meaning, but I no longer care.
I'm numb...I'm nothing- just dust in the air.

Yet envy eats at me, day and night
for those who exist without this fight.

Impassive I let all hope fade away,
knowing tomorrow will be just like today.

I am oh so weary from living as I do-
dear lord, let this end, I beg of you...

No matter how I tweak it, this poem never feels finished to me...

#depression #sadness #lonely #hurt

Jul 2017

Megan H

A Mutual Understanding at a Party (2 am)

She said,
I want to die
Just let me die.
And I felt her words
Throughout the entirety of my soul
Because I knew
I knew.

We sat there stroking her back
He and I.
As she kept saying
I want to die
I looked up at him
And I saw it in his eyes
And he saw it in mine
Because he knew.
He knew.

Three broken people
Sitting at a party together.
Her sober thoughts coming out
As drunk words.
I heard it in her voice,
He saw it in my eyes,
I saw it in his eyes,
And for one second,
None of us were alone
Together we shared the pain.
Because we knew.
We knew.

#life #depression #sad #sadness #death #friends #party #drunk #alcohol

Jul 2017

Zachary William

Stolen Seconds

how often we
block the future
by scrambling to
pick up all of the stolen
seconds that we gave
to people we want only
to forget
all while we
are in a continuous
state of forgetting
that you can't un-live
moments
you can't un-****
somebody
and you can't
rewrite your own
string of moments
no matter how much
they make you
flinch