I used to think
It was good
To be a little of everything
Until you said
I wasn’t enough
Of anything.
You don’t trust
Pierce me with words
Silver tongue sharpened
Clean entrance
Catastrophic exit
I don’t let go
Perforating my edges
If my word will give way
But it won’t.
Shelby Jencyn Jan 24
I have never
Known anyone
Who hated
And loved me
Like you do
The fire keeps me warm
And burns me alive.
S.J.F.
Shelby Jencyn Jan 22
Time holds me hostage
Thoughts of you slipping
Through concrete fingertips
Please
Just stay.
Shelby Jencyn Jan 19
I guess
The difference
Between you and i is that
You saw fault lines
Where I saw a mosaic.
S.J.F.
Shelby Jencyn Dec 2017
Fingertips tracing ink lines across your skin
Once nimble now fumbling
Tingling anticipation sharp like papercuts
I keep tracing
Papercuts becoming gashes
Peeling my skin back to the bone
Still tracing
Hands worn down to remnants and bones
You’re already gone
My skin worn out in patches
Pulled taught to my frame
Bones like white stone
Holding my limbs together
Making beauty out of betrayal
Stretching a minute into a lifetime
Bony fingers rapping against a marble chest
Checking for signs of life inside
Crocodile tears on rose-less cheeks
Dark eyes rimmed in bitterness
A wanting mind left alone
How many layers must peel away
Before you see one you want.
Shelby Jencyn Dec 2017
“Why would you do this again?”
Why wouldn’t I.
Maybe the scar tissue will protect
A thicker skin.
Scraped knees will heal again.

Limp arms by my side still,
But open.
Bright eyes with dark circles,
Too tired to stay open
Still searching against their lids.

Maybe this time I won’t crumble
Sand castle legs in high tide.
There’s no kingdom here.
Weathered remains of pure intentions.
Begging dirt to turn to diamond.

I grip my hope in pressure,
Watching granules become smaller
Never holding together long enough.
Water rising as high as my hopes,
The end lapping at my knees.

Why wouldn’t I?
I was a child kicking down sand castles
Every one I built met the same demise.
How could I blame him
For doing the same.
S.J.F.
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