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Seraphina Jan 2019
The Tightrope
I know I said he's my favorite
And it's true.
But, he can't always attend to my needs
He can't always do everything
Like I want him to do.

Because he has his own life, you know?
His own friends
Who he likes better than me

And I get that, really
Maybe you don't understand
But take this for example:
During a birthday party, he was there
I didn't talk to him at all
Why?
Because he acted so happy
Shouting, "Why is this game teaching kids to do drugs?"
When someone yelled that he got "four-twenty" coins playing Super Mario Kart
And I didn't want to ruin it.

Because I'm afraid
Afraid if I do something
I'll tip the candle
And break the tightrope

But you're like, he's not like that.
He'll still be your friend.
Whatever you did.
He's not that mean, right?

I'll have to remind you
It wasn't always like this
It took a long time
For us to be even friends.

I mean, think about it
I thought he hated me for half a year last year,
And at one point, he really did.
Not even that, look before
All those years
That had passed

And remember,
When there was a barrier?
That may have changed
But only for one part:
Online

Because I'm afraid
Afraid if I do something
I'll tip the candle
And break the tightrope

I should be grateful
That we got this far
How he still cares
Even if only a little

I shouldn't be sad
And so I distract myself
From dreams
That could never be true
And then I wake up

So I'm afraid
Afraid if I do something
I'll tip the candle
And break the tightrope

And blindfolded I'll fall
----------
The Candle
You may be the blindfolded tightrope walker
That can fall if you tip the candle
But the candle is just another car crash
On a highway, as
The candle never burns fast enough
To cut the tightrope
You may get to the other side
And the rope is only singed
Besides, I can be the net below you
So don’t be afraid
I'll always be here for you
490 · Jan 2019
Altruistic
Seraphina Jan 2019
If I'm the main character
Then what are you?
Some useless sidekick
That will never get the praise they need?
Why do you help others but never accept a "thank you"?
You deserve more than this
And I can't always be the one in the spotlight
When you're in the audience, clapping
Because no one will ever know who you really are
But to me, you're always that number one
Some people are like this, including one of my greatest friends.
I say, "Why can't you understand that I owe you?"
He says back to me, "Why can't you understand that I never change?"
405 · Jan 2019
A Dream
Seraphina Jan 2019
The last time I saw your face
Was you yelling at me to go away
The last time I saw you online
Was you saying, "I'm sorry"
Now you aren't showing up
You aren't coming online
But then I woke up

Your smile warms my heart
But it breaks it when I know I have to say
I'm moving.
So I continue dreaming...
It's really not your fault...
390 · Jan 2019
Wings
Seraphina Jan 2019
A bird has wings to fly
I do not
Instead, I am an airplane
Just without a pilot

I try to leap
But I come crashing down
With no support
I can’t fly

Maybe you can
Maybe you can help me
Help me get out
Out of this apocalypse

And so I support on you
You offer me your skill willingly
And I take
But there is a price

You aren’t the missing part of my heart
But my body
My pilot
My best friend
314 · Jan 2019
A Guardian
Seraphina Jan 2019
Don’t you ever feel alone
And you realize
That you may not be as alone as you think
Shadows may be just a dot on the canvas
But they make the masterpiece
Complete
Real
Alive

Just another misconception

Maybe they aren’t really like us
But could we exist without them?
Just imagine…

If we still have shadows
We still have a sun
We still have a friend
That could watch our backs
You're not as alone as you think ;)
Seraphina Jan 2019
The trees blossom with pretty, intricate flowers
The petals fall down gently on the shimmering lake
With ducklings splashing about, enjoying the cool water
The fertile grass grows almost crazily about,
Roses and tulips and lilies everywhere you look

But wherever I step
The grass dies and so do the flowers
I sit down, wistfully looking at the ducklings playing
Knowing I would never be able to join them

You join me, not knowing why I called you
So I say,
"I try my best to live my life the fullest, but sometimes I doubt myself too much."
I could never be normal
Too many conditions
And a disease
Just like with my curse of
Plants dying wherever I step

So you take me to a whole different world
No trees in sight, but
With hot, volcanic rock- the replacement for soil
The landscape so bare
And lonely
Without life

I am shocked to see
That wherever I walk,
Plants grow

And you say,
“This land is barren, and lost of life.
But, with your step, you can make flowers grow.
A simple flower as a symbol that all hope is not lost.
You may have lost hope from being normal, but you know,
You still have hope in another area.
You just have to find it.”
193 · Mar 2019
Weltschmerz
Seraphina Mar 2019
Pages of a book are too trivial
Bah Humbug! That one's archived
And 7 Years
Doesn't catch me when I fall anymore...

I can smile and distract myself
But "I chase perfection"
My personality won't run, though
Stuck between confusion

I'm not lonely
I'm not mad
I say I'm Switzerland
But I end up helping both sides

Thank God I'm not an open book
So stop calling me depressed
And stop giving me that look
Everything isn't a mess

So understand me, I'm tired
Staying neutral is too hard
Only one person can change me
I hope you understand it's not you
Friendships are too hard to manage...
193 · Jan 2019
Goodbye
Seraphina Jan 2019
How come a word can change a person's life?
As petty as it may seem, it can cut someone like a scythe
And forever leave a scar, as
She'll leave, too far
From my reach
It's my fault, right?
For the pain, it can teach
But for the soul - it ends up in the afterlife
Never to be seen again
A trace is left
but is like there never was one
Although the memory-too strong for theft

And it tortures me to say
She'll remember me
But I will not
Goodbye
Can friendships really last forever?
146 · Dec 2018
Always Remember
Seraphina Dec 2018
I

So I misinterpreted you
And what you would do
He tried
I tried
It turned out ugly
I may have my own mugshot
And so does he
But it's not a life sentence
Or a death penalty
I have to live out my time
And do the best to correct it
When I know I will never be able to
But everyone tries
Sometimes people just forget
But others, they remember
Always
Maybe it'll be the same for you
But just remember this: There are always bumps along the road
And this is nothing else but

II

You ask why I did this
Sometimes words can't mean anything
Because, as, they always say, a picture is worth a million words
Because they're just a cent
But combined with others, they can be powerful
And sometimes, you lose a cent or two
This changes the entire meaning entirely
Maybe I lost some words
And maybe I just don't know how to make them a dollar
I try combining them, but it just doesn't work
Maybe I'm trying too hard to find that one cent
That could change everything
But you just don't know
How to explain

III

But it'll take a long time to heal
If it heals by itself
Maybe the only known cure
Is letting it be
You don't think he's the cure
But he is for me
You always thought it wouldn't work
But we have to stay on where fate tells us
Although how cruel it can be
We've gotten this far
So don't waste it
And we have to keep going
We can still do this, though
We can do it
137 · Apr 2022
in love with the Master
Seraphina Apr 2022
floating in this wide expansion
anti-dark energy condensing this universe
trapping me in.
i’m lost, with no way out.

— The End —