I have got this  idea,
a stupid wish, a nonsensical desire
of being in a car accident.
Hear me, I want you to.

I prefer to be in the backseat,
seat belt on, and a frequent mannerism
of looking down, in front
on the driver's dashboard. I do that,
I always want to know the speed
and how fast the others outside this space
of metal and cushion. I don't want to be the driver,
knowing myself, I would not get myself into one.
I am a safe *****, that is all.
Then, here goes nothing -
I want the car to crash. I still haven't made my mind
on where or what are we going to crash.
Maybe a wall. Maybe another car. Maybe a post.
I want it to be something solid, but not alive.
Trees are the exceptions. I want the car
to kiss that solid thing, head on.

I don't want the pain that may come along,
I don't want to call it a near death experience,
I want that instant where -
everything seems unreal
or too real my head would not be able to
understand. I want that portion of time
where I decide do I close my eyes or not,
that moment that I will have my life question itself.
And I don't wish death I don't wish to live, either.
Just that moment, where I could think
how instantaneous life can be.
I want that tick of the clock
the clashing of realities and dimensions..

I want that moment,
I need to feel that moment of being just between death and life
where everything doesn't matter anymore, but I still know
they exist.

I have this stupid idea,
nothing so important, nothing so surreal
but to wish this
is the demand I am willing
to pursue.

i find myself in mazes,
built inside my mind
after every winding path
you are the only one i find
i try and convince myself
that things like trees and clouds
are the same they were before
but after you touched them
somehow they are just not
and never will be again
my thoughts of you
are bright morning colors
that awake me
from my life in black and white
i see you everywhere, in crowds,
and in figures, in the night
i wait for you in meadows
full of buds that never die
because they hold a promise,
to bloom when you arrive.

Unwrap me like a present
Like I'm your greatest gift
Rough waters turned to pleasured waves
I'm surely sent adrift

A crescendo fills my lungs
and sings with bitten lips
We dance in sheets til night is done
hands vine with tensioned grips

Eyes flutter shut like angel wings
Love drips like heaven's rain
The kiss of wine turned to poison
Love's passion turned to pain

The feelings meant for movies
Our times of hungered bliss
These times that are only left
for me to reminisce