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 Jun 2014 Joshua Haines
NLB
that voice in your head is deceiving,
it wants you to think it's your best friend,
but it's your worst enemy.

it wants you to think it wants the best for you,
to help you,
but that voice in your head,
it wants to see you dead.

*n.l.b
 Jun 2014 Joshua Haines
Haruka
I stand on the rocky ground between heaven and hell.
My mother once told me that you can't have it all,
but she never met you with your sweet lips and soft eyes.
I loved you deeply,
fully,
wholly.
I loved you more than I loved my own consciousness.

Somone once told me that falling in love
felt a lot being set on fire.
Watching as you disappeared in front of your own eyes,
dwindling down to ashes,
love felt a lot like being ablaze.

You were my inferno.
You were reckless and you burned bright enough to blind me,
but you also warmed me from the inside out.
Looking back,
I can't tell where you stopped warming me,
and began burning me.
I never noticed my fingertips turning to ash
and my heart hardening from your touch.
But I needed you.
I needed warmth, even if I knew from the beginning
that you'd be my demise.
I would always choose the most lethal weapon.
You were no exception.

Your love was fire,
it left me with scattered fragments of my former self.
And it's tragic that I'll always need someone to piece me back together
so that I can feel whole again.
When I loved you,
I watched everything fade around me,
until you were the only one left in my universe.
So when you left,
I felt this desolation that swallowed me from the inside.
Love is a paper boat that sinks,
and I am a sailor that never learnt how to swim.
So Intelligent,
So charming.
       Tell me how you've turned out to be so perfect.
Did your mother raise you right?
       Or did you just grow into the amazing person you are.
I remember the first kiss we shared,
you left me wanting more,
begging for more.

To this day your lips are burned into my memory.
I long for your lips again my Lion King.

Oh sweetie, you're growing older and wiser by the days,
       I'm so proud of you.
I miss you, and to be honest, I need you.
I need your voice, I need your warm, caring hugs.
         Kiss me again Lion King,
One last time.
for you. lion king. <3
Time after time,
I might love you,
Until the time I let go:

Until I die.

Will it be OK when I can't feel my heart anymore?
Could I still love the harsh cries,
The deadly, lovely words
Meant for you?

Would you call it love
If I wrote you
A thousand poems?

Were we meant to be
Tonight,
Alone with only our thoughts
And the knowledge
We did it the same as yesterday?

I can't take anymore.
Feazings Definition: An unraveled rope end
 Jun 2014 Joshua Haines
Anon
"No."
 Jun 2014 Joshua Haines
Anon
I didn't realize that only strings of hope
Held me together.

It was all for you...
And now I've fallen apart.
It was only because I knew that we would be together soon that I was able to relax.  And now...its not possible and Ive fallen apart
Songs are books;
They share a story that is meaningful,
and personal,
etched into the lyrics themselves.
They tell of disaster and triumph,
loss and love,
happiness and sorrow,
often rolled into one.
Although the meaning
may be hidden just out of sight,
with a little time and effort
the plot will become easier to pinpoint.
Cause if you listen to the words
behind that melody,
you will find the hidden meaning,
the plot of this songs
story.
 Jun 2014 Joshua Haines
SG Holter
First poem to Tina as my lover no more.

I.

Three years and eight months.
My closest. My one.
She'd stayed through madness
Enough.
I am a man of demons.
As I slayed the last one
I turned to see her having fallen
For the blow
As well.
Women and children
Die first.

II.

We cry. We kiss and cry.
Make love crying.
Laugh crying.
Leaving streaks on her back
Of salty regret
As I kiss her every single
Detail farewell.
How can gratitude for love
Hurt like being hated
By a loved
One?

III.

I take full responsibility.
Never raised a hand, but spoke
Hard and disgusting
Bottled anger.
Her leaving makes it
Poetry; lends meaning.
I'll drink again, but the drunk
Demon
Is dead.

IVa.

Today I'll come home
And forget to cook
For just one.
That Volvo will never
Come speeding down the
Gravel road again containing
Other than an ex
Coming to collect
More things that are no
Longer
Ours.

IVb.

No longer mine. I say like all
Others in grief: *This pain
Is new to me.

I embrace it on the floor
Holding her sweater
That I burned a little
Warming it on the stove for
Her in winter.
Then it's into the box
With it.
I'll leave a tear on her every
Garment, thanking for
The love and passion
They held within.

V.

I look up at skies as blue
As they come.
I will live here alone.
Thanking for all the beauty,
And all we learned from
What wasn't.
All is how it should be.
This was our road to
Travel together.

Be well. Be loved. Be safe.
You owe me nothing.
Be happy for this;
There's growth in it.
You are no longer my
Girlfriend, but you'll
Always be my
Girl.

"Together" was our word.
To Get Her was
My most gracious gift
Since Life.
Now let me cry
Like a child lost.
Then I'll move on,
Being neither.
Miracles escapes your lips in the form of poetry,
And though kisses would also be pretty,
Nothing captivates me more,
Than when your soul,
Pours out of you like liquid misery.
A river of soul and history,
Do me the honor and quench my thirst.
Allow me to see you at your internal worst,
Because Externally and Internally,
All I see is beauty.

There is nothing more captivating than,
Blood ink and calligraphy.
As your words seeps into my skin
Imprinting on my mental cavity like tattoos from within,
A brand of paper that never gets old,
Sometimes its so intense, truth be told,
I hear you,
Even when your thoughts berate you into stunned silence.

Sometimes I just want to reach out and,
Grab onto the illusions that I store in that
Pandora's box in my mind,
Saving every bit of your broken perfection.
Your voice attack my emotions like an infection,
I become more battled-scared than I already am,
But I will endure your blood wars as much as I can,
Only a poet will know.
I exist only because of prose,
And pain, love and foes.
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