I can't see you anymore
in this dimension
Being with you in public
draws too much attention
I'll warp speed
between
times we meet
a deep space pilot
Transporting illegal cargo
Secrets we can't let the empire
know
There's my wormhole
gotta go
i'm looking into your eyes
your whispering what i need
to hear our sweat intermingles
*galaxies disappear

In theory
What we have
should never be
Yet it is
And has been
For almost 2 years
Those times we spend together
I sense you need it also
As it takes us both away
And you say
Please always have time for me
But you can't be mine
In the same sentence
This is very difficult
What you are asking me to do
But I will
*for you

A Good Woman
Has many lessons
to teach a man:
Kindness
Compassion
Love
Patience
(For a man
who wants to learn)
Humility
Fear
Patience
Love
(For a man
that needs to learn)
A Good Woman
Can take me to school
*All day long

They say to live is to love but
what they don't say is:
to love something
you can never have
with all existence
is gut ripping
Matchstick head pounding
Face burning
flesh Searing
Existence
We should all be so privileged
To experience.

I didn't intend
To break the rules
Your so called etiquette
You started it
The first night
We met
You were texting and driving
Almost got in an accident
Or was that the second date
When you wore the red dress
And those cool shoes
Left at 2 am
Wearing my tank top and shorts
and no shoes
I forget

i never know where she'll be
she tells me to come see her
and then says she's busy
she goes to my house
raids my pantry
stocks up on ammo
steals ****
then leaves
this me helping you
you helping me bit
is not mutual
benefit
i never know where she'll be
but i always know
*when she's close

your killing me serial
a foreign material
found in my substance
all over i find
still can't identify
loss of motor skills
all day long those
dark brown eyes
piercing and purring
purring and pulling
my strings

My armor was scarred:
battle-proven;
impermeable burden.
It was fabricated by
generations of
Hard-core Sicilians.
Provided by birthright
to defend against
our own weakness.
The day came for me
to lay down my armor-
I obeyed my master-
still a warrior but
so much faster-

for now
I yield
*sword and shield

firestorms raged
and spewed wretched fumes
of burning stucco
as their homes were consumed
Some stood strong
armed with a garden hose
to defend their legacy
The motels were overwhelmed with
displaced refugees
I wore a bandanna
on my face like a mask
rode my bike close to the fires
until I could smell the stench
of my bicycle tires
And drank Newcastles
until the smoke cleared

there's something holy about this:
I just can't put my finger on it:
I'm begging for forgiveness:
for sins I've yet to commit:

met a sweet country girl
took her home started foolin' around
forgot we had a pizza in the oven
almost burned the house down

came to in smoke and flame
wake up man i don't know your name
it can't end this way with someone i don't know
follow me just stop drop and roll

out on the street she kissed me like the french
chill out girl we just met
*and that tongue ain't exactly velvet

i got these demons see
they been real good to me
so don't take this personally
but when you come close
they go into a frenzy

this is not
about you at all
i'm looking for the real deal
someone for the long haul

someone who can bring calm to the storm so to speak
what i really need...

She said
she had
one last
thing to show me
*My my were those lessons Holy!

punch my gut
stole my mind
skinned alive
tanned your hide*

i'm more careful bout what
i pray for these days
cuz i prayed for an angel
and boy did i pay

missing rib
sun burned skin
cracked at the edges
bleeding from within

just another day
boots on the ground
jerusalem cruising
wearin' the crown

plant the seed
blood spills
chill out man!!
prophecy fulfills

sacrifice for all
you get the gist
7 inch spike
straight through
the wrist

confessing sins
much too late*
forgive me father
*unlock the gate

please block my number
when i call to ask for help
you've always been there to save me
and because i'm so lazy
i never learned to help myself

fell down a rabbit hole for a need to explore
thought i hit bottom but found a trap door

so don't respond when i text wassup

this time you can't save me
with your emasculating and
unwavering enabling

so cut me from your cordelette length

for now i must find
my own strength

woke up in a cold sweat flashback
thought it was real for a second

the time you jumped into bed
from the shower
still wet

held me down
as the world fell away
you took me to that place

and i shivered there alone
in a cold sweat flashback

elegant reciprocity
so contradictory
the more i ***** **** up
the more i'm presented with opportunity

i can't back down when it's placed in front of me
i have no voracious ego to feed
alpha male i will never be

the more i fail and subsequently succeed
the more at peace i am with me

and to fear i will never succumb
*when failure is a perfectly acceptable outcome

you could be laying in a gutter on the side of the road
or busted again for all I know

your usual misdemeanor
gets 90 days in the slam
and a fine of a grand
but you haven’t asked for bail as it stands

so maybe you checked in to rehab
either way its 3 squares a day
for you that’s a killer deal

we all know how you love to make fashion statements
but even I’m not sure of orange jumpsuits
*look good with high heels

straight to the edge surpass light speed
full reverse thrusters
tractor beam

money exchanged
souls bought and sold
twist the tourniquet bleeding uncontrolled

satisfy thirst
bringin' the onslaught

don't know better
what they were taught

it's over now the good guys won
final scene moppin' up blood

surrender in droves
white flags wavin'

hands in the air
*these souls need savin'

tried to reprogram my CPU
to be repulsed by the thought of you

and to relate
the sting of your hate
to yellow lab pups

but you can't reconfigure your brain
it just doesn't work that way

i'm hardwired to love you

*and now have a house full of seattle's finest strays

heard you in the sky this morning
screaming my name giving me warning

don't come close i have strange diseases
coming undone broken in pieces

if you need a friend i can fill the role
tamin' pit bulls like those guys on parole

i can let you borrow my amazing recuperative powers
granted by my childhood idol best known
for breaking 400 bones

or if you need a savior i know a mellow dude though
he doesn't hold advanced degrees
but he knows a great cure for leprosy

i really don't care if you think i'm perverse
using your twisted logic in reverse

broken into a million pieces is complete to me
the most brilliant wildflower

*in all totality

can't believe it held together
for awhile it was touch and go
pure perfect illusion of
complete control

no safe haven
and faith lacking
failure analysis revealed
severe stress cracking

on the other side now
somehow still whole
good ol' duct tape
*saved my soul

i don't know where you are
just need 2 words:

i'm ok

if i don't hear soon
2 words for you:

*stay beautiful

your self imprisonment
no visitation
i can't taste life anymore
need you free

your curled up in the darkest corner
of your cell
clutching the key

i was an accomplice
to your brilliant delinquency

hoping they
incarcerate me

fell to earth came apart in the stratosphere
been searching for the wreckage many years

don’t resent me i know it seems like forever
sifting through sand a painstaking endeavor

came in so hot i hope there’s something left
If His angel stolen will revenge this theft

smell the burning rubber hole in the ozone
feet first destination unknown

waiting for your signal
pop a flare
tell me when your ready*
i'm already there

bags packed
nest egg stashed
escape route planned out
oh yeah we're headed south

when we were kids
just last year
we dreamed of a life together
far from here

we stayed up all night
with sativa and cazadores
promised to tell me when you're ready

since that moment
i've been anxiously awaiting orders

feeling your pull like a tractor beam
beaming you up a little piece of me*

can't give you my all;
transmission incomplete,
initially

i'll ship overnight red be there by 10
just make sure your home to let me in

kiss my face i'll string your parse
scream my name and kick my ****

drive me to the edge
exceeding light speed
slip off your belt for a tourniquet
gotta slow this bleed

let's try to take it easy this time
and see how it goes

if it works with just a little
then maybe we
make it whole

you can't take it back
what you gave me
it's mine forever

you don't want it anyway
have no respect for it
just give it away freely

i keep it cherished
warm and safe
even if you don't

i will guard and
defend it's sanctity
with my last breath

even from you

failed to yield
had to make a move
we collided in the middle*
you had something to prove

they couldn't separate us
even with hydraulics
fatally conjoined
locked at the lips

we were scared to be alone
so we endured great pain
never truly happy
suffering in vain

we both took a toll
decades in motion
i saw it in your eyes
you blocked all emotion

i don't have those skills
i must feel to live
you do what you need to
*i still have something to give

i'm tired of being everyone's punching bag
learning to defend against the left jab
can almost predict the back stab*

my tyrant boss so incompetent*
unable to lead

peers who feel the need
to boast of themselves
voracious egos to feed

as i receive a mere stipend
for my efforts sweat and bleed

i'm bailing from this race
far from your lecherous reach
i stashed away a nest egg
built a fishing hut on the beach

there with my marked comrades remain
away from your weakness and condescension
we will all have our day
when you are called to account for

your sins
beyond mention

the demons don't come around much these days

ever since i figured out a way

to take back control

and keep them at bay

i was the perfect puppet
for many years
i made them so powerful
with entitlement and fears

we used to get messy
for huge chunks of time
now they think i'm lame
past my prime

the days are long now
filled with excruciating pain
but this is much better
than hooks in my brain

i do miss them so
oh yes how i mourn
their comforting lies
savory sweet to adorn

the demons don't come around these days

ever since the universe told me it was ok

to be at peace

with the mundane

completely oblivious
to the genius in their presence
unable to nurture
slow painful torture

tried to contain the brilliance
but lacked proper training
turned to medication
failed attempt at saving

without the proper tools
an exercise in futility
made to look like fools
their true vulnerability

completely oblivious*
to his sagacious presence
if nurtured as needed be
would it have ended
so tragically?

i'll hold you to it
the things you said
did you like my cooking
or just being fed?

don't give me hope
say ya never know
if they were all lies
they were pretty good
i suppose

definite denial
mixed with bullheaded-ness
the only thing i ever had a passion for
was loving you
it all makes perfect sense

just keep it to yourself
it's already too late
my brain can't differentiate
but it can perfectly perpetuate

worship her gradient
it's time well spent
she burns hot
don't need a blanket

snuggle like a kitty
falls asleep in your arms
not for long though
always sets her alarm

baby i got some killer breakfast burritos going on
eggs sausage ham potatoes bacon
just the way you like em
total gut bombs

can i have mine to go please?
i'll keep it in my pocket to melt the cheese

why you always runnin' around?
where do you have to be at 2am?

gotta spread the love babe
*i'm not just your gem

blood from Gods spill
soaks the forest floor
her Holy release
gimme more petrichor*

take a hit
lose control
your hardwired
dontcha know?

sweat it out
carried away
blood from stone
the hard way

slow mo
throttle it back
when the sky pours
mother absorbs

face down
one with earth
this sacred interface
our right from birth

blood from Gods spill
soaks the forest floor
redemption salvation
*my sweet petrichor

she has this crazy tattoo
dynamic luminous brilliant
majestic octopodinae
chillin' in the sea

when she's ******
iridescent blue rings appear
all over the creature's body

that's so amazin'
i'd like to hear your story
sit right here next to me brother
it gets pretty gory

the story is my own
i must be predisposed
can't break the pattern
here's how it goes:

i was once swimming in a warm pool
the tide went out
i lost all my friends
i was so vulnerable exposed
strangers tried to get close
i lashed out at them
because i felt threatened
**now they're all dead

this is a savory moment
in between
when you find out
what i've been up to

and call me out
i can't keep a secret
i wear it on my smug face
a smiling lying smirk

i'm not proud of what i've done
take complete accountability
but i know if you found out
your almighty hypocrisy
will judge me

it will be completely insane
unlike no other
a come to Jesus moment
i guarantee you brother

or maybe you'll never find out
and i can keep my depravity
it's too much for you to handle
i must protect you from it  

keep it all
to me