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 Nov 2018 Lorenzo Neltje
Sky
My existence flickers,
but only in my own mind-
I seem to be forgetting reality,
and the memories I've captured
are finding ways to escape the jar.
I chase them through the dew-speckled fields,
but they deceive me every time.

And sometimes I stop,
and fling myself to the ground -
roll to face the stars,
and nearly drown in my own tears,
and ask

"Why?"
 Nov 2018 Lorenzo Neltje
Jen
Away
 Nov 2018 Lorenzo Neltje
Jen
If the past fills
Your thoughts
Like a thief-in-the-night;
Stealing your words
All the time;
Maybe, it’s time
To leave it All
Behind.

Hang on
To the Good,
Though.

There’s no use in dwelling.
There are voices inside
Yelling;
"Stop them,
Now."

"Now."

No more, no more.
Send them away,
To a place
Where they
Are free to
Rest,
Forevermore.

They’re dark waves,
Crashing ashore.

Do not hate them,
Do not shame them.

Just maybe,
They will
No longer
Intrude,
As you
Attempt,
To sleep.

Sleep soundly
Tonight.

Evermore.
Tell me I'm beautiful
Then tell a lie
Hug me with need
Before you make me cry

Kiss me with passion
Then cut me down
Love you for everything you are
You are tired of having me around

Heart is sore from fighting
Morning, noon, nightfall
Wish I stood my ground
To you I once more crawl

Peace of mind or a piece of mine?
A place to run to or away from?
Hoping to experience love again
Instead looks like I'm going numb

With the scars upon my heart
See me almost exactly the same
Why can't you always make me feel beautiful?
Instead of feeling constant pain
How many times have you been called beautiful by someone who eventually made you feel ugly?
I draw
I draw a face
Is it yours?
No, not exactly

Because I draw from memory
And my memories are weak
I'm sorry
I have no pictures of your smiling face

I draw
I draw a bird
No, not a crow
A raven
Very different birds.

I don't draw it dark enough
I'm too scared
If it's too dark,  there's no going back
Don't touch the 9b

I draw
I draw a storm
Not my storm, no
Just a storm

Wreaking through the houses
The walls
The roof
Just to get to you
And I let it

I draw
I draw a mountain
That I will not climb
I refuse, it's too big

A mountain of my fears is always too big
I don't wish to try
To climb
The things I cannot control

I draw
I draw tears
Tears that were mine
But no longer Belong to me

The tears for you that I shed
The tears I wish I did not have
The tears rolling in the back of my head
The tears wishing you never bleed

I draw
idk. I just have a writing bug, I guess.
To dance
To express oneself through
Movement and rhythm
To show joy
Joy of life
Joy of family
Joy of friends

To dance to the beat of life
To join with all creation
To rejoice in freedom

The freedom of life unbound
Now strings attached
Nothing standing in your way
Complete
Joyful
All inspiring freedom

To dance
For joy
For freedom
For life
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