Sometimes
I feel like a terrible person
I've fallen into this kind of pattern
I can't seem to shake
I'm not quite sure
From where I've picked it up
But
I think -- I'm pretty sure
I'd rather be without it

This is how I am
If you don't like it
Don't stay.
Simple as that

I've come to be
The kind of person
that doesn't stick around so long

I don't know who I am anymore
I don't know what I've become

Have you ever looked in the mirror
and seen a monster staring you down

I don't know who I am anymore
I constantly play games
I tug on their heart strings only
to rip them out when I leave
And leaving is something I've become good at

What am I supposed to tell you
That it's not you
It's me
Technically that is true
But that's not the point

What scares me the most is
Not being alone
But
Knowing that
Sooner or later
I'm going to leave you like the rest

I asked and she told me
It's normal
We're young
You don't have to commit

Just because this may be somewhat normal
Doesn't make it okay

I run around
hurting people and
playing with their heads
Whether I know it or not

I do it anyway.
I'm tired of playing this game
but I do it anyway.

I can't help it.
I can't stop.
It gets me into trouble.
It keeps me on edge.
Sometimes I can't sleep
But who needs sleep when I have you.

I lied
I don't have you and I may never
It's for the better says my brain
but it hurts says my heart
I don't know which to trust
They both deceive me
Time after time
but so do you.

You've left your mark
have I left mine ?
I'm done for now
I can't and I won't
wait forever
This game is endless
So I'm closing up shop
I'm packing up the puzzle pieces
and never looking back

I don't think you understand
just how much my mind says
but how little my voice actually communicates.

I'm afraid I'll never be able to express to you
what I'm truly thinking,
That you'll never understand.

Sometimes I think it's easier to just give up,
To let you go
I figure why keep holding on
to something that causes me so much pain
Why hold on to something
so confusing and hard to deal with
I'm fighting a battle with myself
Because you don't seem to have the same
messed up,
confused,
stressed out feel as I do
But if I let you go
You'll ask questions
I can't and am not prepared to answer