Perhaps I’ll never love
The way I read books
That all consuming
Maddening
“You are my life now”
Kind of true love

Maybe I’ll never fall
The way I listen to music
The way you become
So lost in a song
You feel what you hear
You believe without seeing

Sometimes it’s a steady ticking
Constantly worrying
Never actually caring
“You’re young you’ll find someone”
Plus every other versions of this saying

Other times it’s a storm
This tsunami of doubt washing out
Every last bit of hope
Like water, instead of making it float
It’s sinking the boat
If you’re never really lucky generally
When it comes to love
Why the flippity flop would you be?

I could spend the rest of my nights searching for another you
trying on lovers like new pairs of shoes
knowing the sun will rise along with the memories
but I'd rather spend my morning hours with thoughts of you
than have to pretend his hands will ever compare to the way your words made me feel

I’m not stupid
Honestly, I promise
I think it might be
You making me nervous

I’m bad with speaking
You might think me a fool
I stutter and stumble
Trying to keep my cool

Not much time
To think it through
But I have to analyze
What each word will mean to you

I think and I think
I know what I want to say
The problem is just
I don’t know which way

My words seem to fail me
Mouth moving like a fish
I want to talk, please
It’s my only wish

Scared of saying it wrong
Confusing you, driving you away
I’m so ******* afraid
That I’ll make it not okay

I’ve found my words
Each and every one
But when I look back up
You’re already gone