Moon glow above my house
      Walking from my car
                  Floating

The confines of my flesh erode my soul
My ribcage wages war on my heart
I wish to tear myself apart from this prison of rotting bones
As only then should I taste this decaying world's sweetness

I long for the life of the oceans
All-seeing, all-consuming forces of nature
Whose fury submerges cities in its ferocity
Their smooth bodies undestroyable, divine to our wretched forms

The fury in my body was molded for a divine force
My sorrows made only for the inanimate to bear
Loose waves that belong to the oceans
Apathy of the waters is for I took their care

As I am  writing in my diary
I talk about the strange dark
And wonderful
But that might just be
For a dream journal
As I am writing in my diary
I see that I am dissociating
From reality
The reality that is oppressive
As I  am writing in my diary
I am writing the final chapter to my memoir
Thus far

A true testament of gods power
This this look up and find it
What do you see the Big Dipper
Good!!!
That simple
Asterism is the only proof
That something
Bigger then us is around
Something that want peace for all
Man kind
The Big Dipper
You should look at it
One time

The microcosms of the brain
Something that is beyond belief
Something that is beacons comprehension
You can be a psychiatrist
You can be psychologist
But it will still bell
The hell out of you
God’s biggest wonders
Of the world

I have lived a childhood
Of sadness!
Though I was a
Sweet and kind child
Brilliant in every way
The other pegged my for my
Race and my looks
Oh the sadness
I had to live
And never knowing real love
From another woman

you know what
i dont care about you anymore
ignoring me , not giving a fk about me
i can do that to
you just a girl , girl
i'll find someone better
who's not bitter not a F*ING psychopath
i dont love
i just dont care

'writing's like mass -
God gets mad if you don't show up.'

- earnest hemingway