If he knew the amount of power
He still holds over my fragile existence
He'd rise to dictator status
Because that's what he is to me
I'm like a Jew  in love with ******
Being sent off to the showers
I suffocate on the memory of promise
If he knew how often I think of him
He wouldn't know what to do
He'd be giddy and not the least bit afraid
Because I have a monopoly on fear
When it comes to that Peter Pan
A boy child never to turn man
If he knew the feelings I still harbor
But dare not to confess
He would abuse that power profusely
Because knowledge is the web
I'm eternally trapped in
I'm not a *******
But I still adore
That sadist

I wished you’d leave me be.
I wished you’d stop trying to message.
Please keep your distance!

It doesn’t make sense to me, you tell me you’ll leave and never try again.
Yet here you are.
Why?

You message late at night before I fall asleep.
Then all I’m left with at the end of the phone call is emptiness.
You take my answers and change it to something different.

You don’t want my answers, you never did and that’s okay..
But why give you that respect of my honor when you lied from the beginning?
Oh because I did worse.

If it was ALL my fault then why can’t you go..
If I am such a horrible person the why can’t you stop messaging.
You said it yourself.
So go.

☾

Yesterday I cried to the moon
as she wiped my tears away
made my worries disappear
so I could sleep again.

☼

Today I smile at the sun
and it shines back on me,
what a wonderful world
to be alive;
to be me.