The pent up feelings I have for her
unbearable
The way I think she feels
regrettable
My expression for her
forgettable
no
unseeable
its
unforgivable
what it does to me
when she looks at me
when she touches me
unbelievable

I am just a boy living in an unrealistic world.
Unrealistic yet the most real thing I could think of,
Full of words that are pictures and pictures are words.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words,
all you need to paint a picture is three.
This is the world I live in,
full of expectations verses reality.
Where the reality is the expectations and the expectations is not reality.
For in this Earth wealth is more and less than status.
Wealth is a gateway to education at it's finest,
while the rest of us learn book to book.
We all live paycheck to paycheck.
Whether we want to admit it we know it's true.
We all live with fears,
but those fears just might come true.

The creature, my demon.
Just a dream.
I tell myself this,
Deep down I know it exists.

Two more.
Two what I do not know.
My demon told me.
I understand I just won’t believe it.

My demons long,
To be with me I mean.
Thick of nightmare,
Full of dread for the dead.

Drawing used to be my cope,
It would help.
Drawing them in,
That’s why I stopped.

In this nightmare,
I tell myself there is light.
I know there is none.
I tell myself this just to get through another day.

Now I use humor,
Joking about the unknown truth.
Laughing the pain away.
One second at a time.

Laugh by laugh,
Second by second.
All I really need is a friend.
Right to the end I need a friend.

Me looking at you, you looking back.
Almost like a reflection back as when you move I move too.
In the water or in the bathroom you follow me.

Calling me to you where I cannot go.
And you try to follow me yet you leave when I do.
    I come back, so do you.

Whatever can I do?
Are you looking at me or am I looking at you?
    Looking back I think I understand.

Your hand matches mine.
You are the most devine.
    Your eyes are mine.

You see me and I see you.
We wave at each other perfectly in harmony.
    Empty space surrounding.

In the dark of night, the light of day.
You look like me in every way.
Almost like you are me.
    That is impossible to be.

Am I you or am I me?
Looking at you catching up the slack.

    Me looking at you, you looking back.

Night has a certain kind of vibe
Pitch black
Oozing with death
Breathing
We want it stop
Keeping it from falling
Down into that grim phosphorescence
Like an umbrella
Falling
Into a current on the streets
The streets once paved in gold
Fractured by the crescendo of machinery
cracking
Fractured by them
Fractured by leaders of a corrupt nation
A corrupt kingdom for only the wealthy businessman
Again
And now in the dark the gold pavement is but only an artifact
Stumbling
Falling into the ashes
The ashes of a fallen nation
A nation once living in gold

I forgot
But now I know
I remember
I’m not a slave
She doesn’t control me
Love doesn’t mean torture
Or servitude
Nor does it mean to put up with it
But love
I know what it does mean
It means happiness
Family
Forever
Most of all
At least for me
It also means you
Your caring
Your touch
Your laugh
Your smiles and giggles
It’s contagious
I’m contaminated
I’m not being chewed on
I don’t feel like I’m hated
But love
But you
I’m through

forget me
forgetting you
forgive me
for everything
f*ck life
for making me
feel like this
for making me think
forgetting all I am
forgetting me

Most of us can remember our childhood.
Close our eyes and see our past.
Afraid it will slip away,
afraid we will forget.
Forget it all and we don't come from anywhere.
Everyone asks my fears and I always say the dark.
The dark isn't true.
My fears isn't the dark,
it's what's in it

There she stands in all her beauty. Alone, all in her own world. Standing, towering, just out of reach. Everybody knows her. I... I am invisible, nothing compared to her. Still she is my drive either way. My motivation, my push. She is my freedom. She is everything. Her beauty is unmatched in all the land. Nothing has, never will. I am nothing, There she stands in all her beauty, alone.

For my whole life I have never truly lived.
Many risks not taken and many things mistaken.
Every art piece and music score. Every item I have in store.
I am left to face myself in death knowing I have done nothing.
As the sun of life sets I know that there is night again and with the sun down there is room.
Room for a new sun to rise and take its place in the galaxy of life we all come to call home.
As the sun rises, the spark of life on Earth is continued through all eternity.
What is time?
Is it the seconds that pass by, the minutes of our life counting down?
The life you share in love with one another? Whatever it may be you choose how you spend it.
Alone at home, with people you call family, at the place you call home.
Home is not a place you live.
Home is where you are with the people you choose to surround yourself with.
Who you call your own.
Home is not a house, home is family and friends together being themselves.
Looking back at it I did not simply do nothing. I belonged to something, I had my home.
And you have yours. Where you belong, belongs to you and you to it.
I belonged somewhere and now I must leave. In leaving comes emptiness.
An emptiness to be filled with new life coming in as I go. And so I say goodbye.
In goodbye is reassurance and happiness. Happiness in knowing I have done something.
That I can leave  knowing I have changed the world. Knowing all there is to know.
At the very end of that sunset, I can move on swiftly with care.
On to that eternal night bright with the stars in the sky of all the other lights of life.
I have done something, I have.

The sweetness of her lips
Against mine
The smell of her hair
Engraved into my mind
Apart
From her
Dying
Alone
But when she returns
The sweet music of her laugh
The symphony of emotion
Rushing through
Making me know
How much
I truly love her
With every drop of blood
Coursing through my veins
And straight to my brain
Getting hard to breathe
Because
I soar through the air
With her as my wings
But she leaves
And I dive to earth
Being picked up
Whenever she returns
But gets ripped
From my back
Again and again
But the pain
Lets me remember
I am loved

Misunderstood
My lack of meaning
Brought to the end
Together
Splitting
In the bed
Every night
Talking less
Than ever before
Bringing myself
To just one more
Late night
On shared time
Ignoring what’s important
Only thinking
Of lust
And greed
Ignoring necessity
Of love
And communication
Mistaken
Another lover
To be just
Inside her body
Instead of her heart
Breaking myself
Unknowingly
Apart
Shattered
At first notice
Already too late
I guess i'm just
Born to be that way
Alone
Withheld
From her

One day one way,
Next day I'm someone else and the old me is gone.
Like clockwork when I wake up I am someone else.
Some say it isn't me,
I say I am never me anyway.
As time passes I know less and less about me,
While I am getting lost in myself I know more and more ways to lose myself.
Unknowingly I miss myself the way I was.
Before I lost my own way through the back of my hands,
My working hands that never stay the same.
Damaging my hands and changing them for little hope to live in this world.
Never the same, never and forever.

Night oh way…
All the night so to say!
And in the night, heaven’s to be day?
Way! All the day to be heaven’s I do say!

Into the night does he ride?
Into the ride might my flight.
Out into the open of hell!
This tyranny is but past the gates of hell,
Down into the depths all while we are told to be in heaven.
For how far to ride into this eternal night?
The nights in hell be twice long into blood.
Blood be it when spoken thy name.
Thy name be all but said into the gates,
Gates to be guarding heaven.
So is he to ride?

He is to ride tonight!

Roses
In the moonlight
Dancing
Perfect beauty
Like the sway of trees
Pulling you closer to me
Back and forth
Kissing under the stars
In the crisp air
Love seen close
Gentle but dangerous
Brought from far
Strong but easily damaged
Now In my arms
Difficult to manage
Lovers in the dark
Beautifully perfected
Dancing in the moonlight
Roses

That feeling you get,
You know the one.
Tingling everywhere and your tongue gets tied.
Only around that one person.

Doesn’t matter where or when,
Be it a good time or bad.

All the want to be with them more,
The longing to feel that feeling again.
So you keep coming back.

Again and again you return.
Never getting enough.

Whoever they are,
Don’t let it slip.
The way you feel,
Hope for lip to lip.

Kisses in the moonlight.
The night, so bright.

The feeling is like flight,
The feeling of love.
The person you feel for,
You hold high above.

And so in the light of day,
Nobody knows why we feel this way.
It’s natural I guess.
As long as it isn’t a mess.

There once was a girl I fell in love. I thought that our love was enough. But low and behold she left me dry and fled into the sky. Hair of silver and wings of gold, at least that is how I'm told. She flew into the sky so bold, even seven fold. We could have been together even now four years later. still no later did I truly fall, did she start to leave my hall. Into the blinding light of day that how she flew away. Hair of silver wings of gold, at least that is how I'm told. She flew into the sky so bold, even seven fold. Her beauty is still untold, diamond eyes and nothing sold. Into the dark of night the moon interrupted her flight with hair of silver and wings of gold, at least that is what I'm told. She flew into the sky so bold, even seven fold. Onward and upward she did go even the clouds did so. In a trail like a bridge, the clouds formed into a ridge. And blocked her path up above they tried. And blocked her path they did. Back down to earth she fell, right into my arms. Oh how I wish to have a girl like that again. Like an fallen angel lost on her way to heaven.

There once was a girl I fell in love.
I thought that our love was enough.
Low and behold she left me dry and fled into the sky.

Hair of silver and wings of gold, at least that is how I'm told.
She flew into the sky so bold,
even seven fold.

We could have been together even now four years later.
still no later did I truly fall,
did she start to leave my hall.
Into the blinding light of day that how she flew away.

Hair of silver wings of gold,
at least that is how I'm told.
She flew into the sky so bold,
even seven fold.

Her beauty is still untold,
diamond eyes and nothing sold.
Into the dark of night the moon interrupted her flight,

with hair of silver and wings of gold,
at least that is what I'm told.
She flew into the sky so bold,
even seven fold.

Onward and upward she did go even the clouds did so.
In a trail like a bridge,
the clouds formed into a ridge.
And blocked her path up above they tried,
and blocked her path they did.

Back down to earth she fell, right into my arms.
Oh how I wish to have a girl like that again.
Like a fallen angel lost on her way to heaven.

The lakeside cabin was as old as history.
The lake itself was ancient.
The cabin was in our family for years.
None of us knows who built it,
all we know is we always have fun there.
Playing in the lake all day,
staying up late telling ghost stories around a campfire.
Many years ago I went back.
I couldn't find it.
Recently I went with my family and it was back.
Maybe it wasn't where I thought it was at first.
Maybe it was never there.
All I know is we had fun.
That's all that mattered,
We had fun.

Summer night,
The feeling’s right.
All through to daylight.

The morning’s plain.
All to noon,
When that scent comes back.

The smell of summer’s morning dew.
The smell of bacon.
The smell of Saturdays with mom.

Dad kisses goodbye,
Mom says hi.
And that sweet smell of summer’s morning dew.

All this time,
Spent with you.
And that smell of summer’s morning dew.

Together
After pain
Finding love
The true kind
Butterflies
Left and right
On the inside
Kissing
On the outside
Holding
Bringing more
Bringing our souls
Mates
Love of a lifetime
Found so soon
Love
Life
Togetherness
After pain
Bringing love
Eventually
New life
With you
With me
Loving
Together

Make
room
for the
end
or it will
F O R C E
its way
BETW    EEN
your
plans and bring
those
to
an early
end too

Love life
life will love you back

bringing up the past
lies
ended relationships

forgive and forget
bring up the new
for tomorrow

and the future

War
How it rattles
You always ask

Monsters behind lines
Everybody is a casualty
Nobody is the same

Fighting over what’s wrong
In the most of the battle
Guns roaring
Helicopters patrolling
Tomorrow’s children shipped over still

Everybody knows
All the ways
Children play war
How fun it is

Only veterans know
The real struggle
Hiding in the bushes
Entire platoons down
Running in the jungle