Usually, I guess I’d say I’m okay.
Or fine.
I’m rarely happy anymore, unless I see you on my screen.
But even now…I don’t feel that.
No sadness. No anger. No regret.
Just…numbness.
Nothing is there anymore. My heart is cracking. Splitting.
Why? I don’t know. I can’t…think of why.
Isn’t it weird? To not know your own feelings?
I hit my head with my fist in an attempt to get something, anything out.
Just a thought. Why am I feeling this way?
But I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.
Tears flow from my eyes, but I don’t feel sad.
I just feel empty.

Air fills my lungs
Whenever I take a breath.
Air exits my lungs
When I breathe out
Though, breathing can get finicky at times.
Since it quickens when I’m under stress
Or when I’m panicking
Though, when my eyes lock onto yours
It’s not my breathing that quickens
But my heartbeat.

The past few days have been full of pain
As I lie down in bed again.
When I open my mouth, it yells at me to shut it
So I sigh and quit trying to fight it.

I can’t eat or chew
Without my jaw breaking too
Can’t drink or sip, it seems
Unless I want my gums to scream

I can’t even function properly
Everything I do, I end up doing sloppily
Sometimes, I think of ripping my tooth out
I already know I’ll be better off without
This tooth, one of four that you don’t get at youth
Oh, how I wish I could rid myself of this wisdom tooth.

When you’re young, you stand tall.
You think nothing can hurt you.
You’re untouchable.
You think of yourself as a god.

Then, suddenly your wings are clipped.
You grew up.
You’re no longer untouchable like you once thought.
And without warning, you fall.

It’s pounding like a drum.
When I’m not with you, I feel numb.
The hole in my heart is usually wide.
But it’s smaller, now that you’re by my side.
Some memories, I just want to bury.
And yet, when I’m with you, everything is new and scary.
My heart skips a beat when you reply.
What I wouldn’t give to just say “hi.”
Without feeling dumb.
When I miss something up, I feel like ****.
Sometimes, I don’t even know what to do.
But in the end, I still love you.

You’re my girlfriend
And I’m your boyfriend
I wish I could be with you right now.
But I know that’s something they won’t allow.
I know we’re far away now.
But we’ll make this work somehow.
Your love for me is undying
That’s why I’m gonna keep on trying
To push myself, even when I’m blue
Until the day I sit next to you.

A row of keys stares back at me.
The notes come to me in beats of three.
I play them, my fingers pressing on the keys.
The chords sound off. The sound makes me freeze.

The resulting sound was like glass shattering.
My teeth started chattering.
I ended up taking in a deep breath.
And I looked at the piano in depth.

And I began to play again. My fingers started gliding.
All of my emotions are released. Colliding.
The tone shifts. I can hear the audience weep.
As everything breaks through the seep.