Facing sideways,
A tear trails down
My face.

My mind is racing,
Zigzagging.
Forming.
Calculating.
Identifying.
Backtracki­ng.
My mind is simply marveling...

In all the things
In my life.
The good.
The bad.

My mood,
Feels so sad.

It’s late.
And a door for contemplation appeared.
Seemed like the right gate
To open...
On a winter night
Like tonight.

When the silence is ever so vast.
And the darkness is ever so deep and unending...

Staring deep
Into the darkness
Above you.

What do you see?

Do you see shadows?
Demons?
Ghosts of the past?
Memories?

Well, I see the future.
The what-if’s.
And the “could-be’s”

I see my reflection.
My own self.

Its like looking into
My head.
Sifting through
The many ideas and thoughts.

...

The darkness, sometimes,
Presses down on me like
Compressed air.

I stare.
And stare.
And can’t blink my eyes shut

...

Alas, I am
Trapped in a
False world.
Where no one
Can reach me.

Till sleep finds me.
And claims me.

...

Only then,
Will I be free.

STAY CALM AND DON'T U YELL,
YUP, THIS LIFE IS REALLY HELL !!

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I wasn't a genuine friend.
I'm sorry for always being a problem.
I'm sorry for not meeting yout expectations.
I'm sorry for never learning.
I'm sorry for causing you pain.
I'm sorry for making you feel less than you are.
I'm sorry for being selfish.
I'm sorry for coming into your life in the first place.
I'm sorry for existing.

I was supposed to be your everything.
I'm sorry I couldn't be.

You are a melody.
Melancholic.
Mysterious.
Masked.
A master of words.

Sometimes I wonder…

What worlds have you seen?
What worlds have you known?
What has broken you?
What dreams would you tear your soul for?

What life would you desire...
If
You could have the world?
Has anyone asked you that?

But...

You’re in space
But not really.
Reaching for the unknown…
Higher and higher
And higher you go…

You have a destination.
You are determined.

But.
You.
Are.
Floating.
Kind of don’t know where you’re going.

"Can i be carefree?
Is it okay to be lost?"

Just.
Close your eyes.
Feel the air.
Around you.
You’re on cloud 9.
Spinning
Whirling.

STOP.

You start falling.
Down.
Into the dangerous depths of
Your own demise.

But...

The thing is...
This time,
YOU can stop it.
And you do.

I once had a heart
I thought
But I don’t know anymore
It’s feeling kind of dead and rotten
And the smell, well...
It smells a lot like lonesome.