You're just a cigarette
And this temporary buzz isn't enough for this longing heart
I need a stronger substitute
Something with a full effect
Someone with an addiction so strong it's impossible to break

In my car on another late Wednesday night
The blues have taken over
Nothing but silence and the cigarette smoke leaving out of my window
Cars pass by with families in them
While I'm cold and tired
They pay no attention to me but I know them very well already
They're not satisfied with how they're life turned out
Nobody is ever happy enough
And nobody can solve the problems that really matter
We as a people request a more satisfying taste in our mouth
A more beautiful sight to see
Or we will grow disrespectful and resentful to our surroundings
As we have seen them many times before
We as a people know that this will not change and we are all stuck in hell

The thought
the thought of you dragging
a blade across your
wrist
it kills me.
The thought
the thought of you
taking your last breath
tears me apart.

you are too young and
beautiful to leave this world
you are too loved
to even think to leave

you remind me of the song
by lana del ray
the one that goes..
"will you still love me when
im no longer young and beautiful?"
yes yes i will

you tell me i am your big sister and
you look up to me
and not to cry because i am
too beauttiful,
now its my turn.

you are beautiful
you are loved. so please
wipe the tear off you
cheek, put the blade
down and come here
i love you
just remember the promises
we made eachother
that one day
we will be able to hold eachother
in our arms and
i can tell you how much
i love you.

because words dont
describe it enough, words cant
express the feelings
going through my body
i love you. x

ACT NOW:
One heart for sale.
warning
Its broken and shattered
It needs a girl to rebuild it.
To hold it.
It wants to sail away in the wind.
Act now,
While my heart is still beating
Inside of my heavily scarred chest.
Act now
Before the loneliness
slits my
*delicate wrists

Im waiting for the sting.
For the gunshot that ends me.
Im waiting for you to give up on me.
Im scared that
In the midst of my happieness
You will come forth and mention your upmost sadness.
Im afraid you are gonna hurt me
(yes, guys get hurt and remember it too)
Im waiting for you to realize what a ****** i am.
I wait for the day you find someone better.
And though you tell me im the one,
I still have nightmares of abandonment.
Its not your fault.
Maybe i should just believe in love,
in you
But im scared
Cause ive put my faith in places before,
*and was met with overwhelmong dissapointment

I look at you through sleepy eyes,
Stretch my fingertips out to touch you,
Feel your hot breath on this cool early morning,
I am blessed by your presence

You my sweet, and cherished comrade
You will never forsake me, nor I you
You have never judged me
You accept me without question

Always, you are there for me
You give my soul energy
You awaken me to my potential
And allow me to clearly see

On this, another frosty morning
You are there, as comforting as always
Your scent urging me to awaken
So thank you, I love you coffee