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Zeynep Çiçek May 2019
It's slow and underlying
It's so little that
you could miss it with a blink
It's so soft that
you could barely feel it

It exists there as part of you now.
It is in your being.
This love you feel,

it's the kind you can't live without.
It's the kind that doesn't show itself.

It's invisible. It's there.
At some point, it becomes routine
Zeynep Çiçek May 2019
Is it true?
Think thoroughly

Close the doors
Are you ready to face them?

You don’t have to be the one
That opens the curtains in the morning
But why not?
How about we try?

Consecutive success sounds boring
Let’s try something new this time
Just for once
It probably won’t hurt

It’s much easier to stop than you think
It’s mostly your childhood bias that makes you think so
Children find it hard to resist pleasure
You? Not as much as them

Experiment
It’s fun to do every once in a while

Sometimes you’ll see something interesting at school

You don’t need to befriend every single person
In the same vein,
You don’t need to have everyone’s amiability
It would be better, but it’s not necessary

You will meet some friends
Some who will stay with you
Some who shared a chapter of your life
And gave their farewells
And one
(Or two. Or three. However you like)
Of those who stay
Will be your lover
(Or lovers. However you like)

Sometimes it’s easier to laugh than mope

If doing something for yourself means
That you should do something you dislike
Choose one. There’s no wrong answer
But remember the consequences
You might not always like them

When you decide you want to love
Deciding is enough
It might come, or it might not
Whatever it is, enjoy

You aren’t your ideal of beauty
But if you look at yourself long enough
In the mirror
You will see what some others do
Stare into your eyes
Caress the shape of your lips with your gaze
Try and stare apathetically at your reflection
You can’t

Do you have a hairy body?
Okay
Do you have a hairless body?
Alright

Decisions, decisions...
They make up most
But not all
Even so, it's a step

So your friend liked it
Do you actually want to lend it?
Do you feel obligated to?
Because if you don't want to, don't

If let, people will choose to ignore
Not many want to engage

You are what you want to be
You might not think so, but it counts
At least, where it matters

What matters who you love?
Relying on family's support...
It's nothing to worry about.
They'll die at some point, and you are free of them.
There's no shame in breaking off from the chain.

Keep your support, don't alienate them
But don't depend on them. For if you want freedom,
You need your own help

                                                But most of all
                                      
                            remember that everything will be okay.
For me to check every once in a while, advice for myself (when I forget)
Zeynep Çiçek May 2019
I've been all over, I think.
It's confusing.

There's this thing I love. I love it so much,
I don't think I could go without.
It's bad for me,
in excess.
It holds me under my arms and carries me to celestial bodies.
It turns me alive.

There's the real world. I  despise it.
If it means to part with what I need.
I cling so desperately but-

-has anyone noticed why?

It doesn't really matter the reason.
I don't want to know.
But it's the one thing I want to hold onto.

Ah, I remember the times I'd lay really quiet.
Thinking all day and night about magic.
It's what I need. It's what kills me.

I feel the farewell a bit too close, it is near.
And I
feel the farewell a bit too much.
It saddens me.

Growing up and leaving this, are you crazy?
I'm a madman, when has anyone seen me let go?
I'll cling with each particle of my being, at the risk of sounding dramatic.

But I'll be happier than the housewives and the office men.
I'll have it-

-this thing I love. It's something I do.
It's nothing interesting.
It's my whole world.
I noticed that if I want to survive, I'll have to pause living
(Just joking hbghbj I started studying for exams)
Zeynep Çiçek Mar 2019
Can he cry
Knowing the winds won’t stop
Feeling his heart pulse achingly
Listening to the sounds in the other stalls
There are others crying with him
He still can’t cry

Can he cry
Knowing the failures will stick like duck tape
Felling his snot paint his sleeves white
Hugging himself in his time of fright
He still won’t cry

Can he cry
Knowing this is one out of too many
Feeling the burden settle so heavily
Breathing in timing to the tapping on his knee
The tears won’t come out

He can’t cry
Knowing it’ll always be the same
Feeling the drain on his psyche
Listening to the silence in the other stalls
He’s still the only one

And the winds still won’t stop
And the clouds will pass by
I’m pretty sure I failed my math test lol
Zeynep Çiçek Feb 2019
A world for you, a world for me
No one else dwells
To sing in the rain

A world for you, for your comfort
Shut your apartment
Sleeping away the day

A world for me, no one has seen
To hide and be free
And I’ll sing as much as I want
Take advantage and weep
Because no one here will ask why
With no one to see

A world for me, it’s what exists for me
Perpetual rain
Chilly warmth but I’m with my coat
And while I weep
I’ll sing myself a song
Walking in the rain

A world for me, not for you
No space left, I’m afraid
All reservations filled
Can’t wait
I got to
Sing in the rain

A world for me, another for you

I’ll weep because of the rain
Because the love of life it’s too much to contain
I’ll let it all out
And I’ll
Explode
In a world for me
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