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I lay in bed
listening to rain
I try to breathe
but the air isn't there.

I lay in bed
and I ponder on the rain
what it means
and how it feels

I remember God then.
The people He sent me
who taught me the beauty of rain and helped me see the renewal

I lay in bed
listening to the rain
begining to breathe again
giving thanks for sending away this pain
Thank you for showing me the beauty of rain. I hated it before I met you
What if?
two words that change everything.
They hold your potential glory
or your potential death

What if the sun just didn't rise tomorrow?
What if the world just ended right now?
What if your hands were in mine?
What if I wasn't where I'm at now?

Those two little words.
So much hope
yet so much pain

Stick and stones they say
But I think words hurt worse.
They leave lasting scars
They leave me feeling like I'm nothing

But then again
They are what make me whole
They are what make me feel like I can do anything

So what if I just don't care anymore?
What if I care too much anymore?
There's no way to tell.
but I'll just leave it at
What if?
It won't be long till
water costs more than oil
©  Passius Ashe  2015
I get the panic
the pain
of losing someone you love

but why was I ever worried
that I would never hear your voice?

Why was I ever worried
that I would never get to see
all the good you're going to do
and all the good I'm going to be

Why was I ever worried
that I would have to do this alone?

I always knew that I had Christ,
But I needed a real life friend.

Why was I ever worried?
I'll tell you quite frankly why.

It's because I was scared of losing you again.
I'm glad to have you back my friend
I got hit by a train
Falling in love
Which is kinda the same

Yet my fears lie beyond this line

I ran into a wall
Falling out of love
Which leaves nothing at all
When will it end?
The constant sad of missing you
I've ruined something beautiful
I've lost my best friend

When will it end?
The pain of knowing
That there is always more I could have done
That I'll never have that possibility again

When will it end?
This lump in my throat
Stopping me from letting go
Stopping me from playing the last chord

When will it end?
I don't think it will
and honestly










I don't want it to.
you're welcome.
welcome here.
welcome into my life
welcome into
my heaven and my hell
here
meet my demons
and the Angels
that help me fight them
welcome here
where music is sometimes
the only way I can feel
welcome to your new home
welcome to
a broken home that has
adopted habits and mannerisms that
make the walls sag
and groan
with pains
a home that fosters
echoing memories
welcome home to emptiness
aching
for fulfillment
welcome home to a mess on the floor
the kind that everyone else just stepped over and ignored

except you
you bent down and quietly picked up the shards of shattered beliefs
you showed them to me and said
"let's put this back together"
and we did
we sat at the coffee table
that before
was just another trip hazard
now serves
as the foundation
for the picture we're putting together
piece by piece
and suddenly
I'm laughing
and the walls are brightly colored
and there are windows open
to a grand sunrise and
for the first time
I realized
I had stopped holding my breath
because I didn't have to count to a million failures
to find
a fresh start
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